A Cookie Primer

Things that belong in cookies:
sugar, white/brown/confectioner's
eggs
flour
oil
chocolate in any form
peanut butter
raisins or craisins
science things that make them cookie-like (baking soda, baking powder, etc)

Things that do not belong in cookies:
chickpeas
beans
zucchini
carrots

If you are having trouble remembering the Dos and Don'ts of cookie baking, it may be helpful to think of it this way: "Don't be a rookie - no veggies in a cookie." Or (now this one isn't going to rhyme, so don't get your hopes up), "If I can put it in my soup, I shouldn't put it in my cookie dough." I mean, would you make chicken cookies? Minestrone cookies? Of course not. So stop, I beg you, just don't do it.

Another helpful way to remember is to think of when you can eat these things. For example, vegetables and legumes belong in the meal, like in an appetizer, entree or side dish. Cookies, on the other hand, belong in your hand at any time of day or night. Mmmmmm.

There have been lots of recipes going around on Facebook promising delicious cookies using very non-delicious ingredients. Do not be duped. I promise you that that cookies made with mashed chickpeas will taste like ... well, exactly as a cookie made out of chickpeas should taste. What were you expecting, fool???

You know, I'm not anti-vegetable at all. It's just that it's so tiring having to worry all the time about "being healthy" and "things that are good for you" and "how can I sneak some lentils and broccoli into this dessert?" Can't we, once in a while, make delicious food (cookies come to mind, for example) and eat it just because it tastes good???

RT if you believe in the Pure Cookie Movement.

Rollin' with the Roses

Here's how it all went down one night last week:

First, Ariella made a picture out of cucumber and etrog peel.

She was devastated when I told her later we'd have to toss it eventually, because Science would happen to it in the form of mold and rot.

Nadav conducted his own science experiment. Turns out, if you place your sippy cup of Nadav chocolate milk* upside down on top of your cup of Nadav coffee**, it will drip into the coffee. #gravityizkewl

*Recipe for Nadav chocolate milk: Make sure he's not looking. Pour regular milk into a sippy cup. Shake so bubbles form. Serve.
** Recipe for Nadav coffee: Add about 1/8 tsp decaf instant coffee to cup. Mix in a little hot water to dissolve the coffee. Add milk and spoon. Serve.

Then, it was time to sit on each other in various configurations:

(Say hi to Mt. Laundry in the corner!)

and

and finally

"Don't worry Mommy, we're not really laying on Nadav." So there's that, at least.

Then, naturally, it was time for last year's broken umbrellas to come out to play.

Because our chances of Poking Each Other's Eyes Out with Pointy Objects was teetering dangerously on the low side (now that the lulavim are finished). But don't worry, the children rose the occasion admirably and corrected that problem. Eventually Mommy persuaded them to put the umbrellas away, in the form of snarling and grabbing the umbrellas. Worked like a charm.

There was also Ariella practicing judo moves on Mommy, but, oh well, no picture of that. Just imagine an agile little monkey trying to topple, well, a big, slow, lazy monkey and nearly succeeding until the bigger monkey cried, "Ohmigod Ariella stop I'm going to fall!"

It was like that.

It's Tuesday. Do you know where YOUR ramblings are?

(^ It's now Wednesday. Deal with it. Thursday. Sheesh!)

It's been a while since a good ramble. Here we go!

1. First (which I guess I didn't need to write, because, you know, "1."), mazel tov and מזל טוב to my good bliend (blogger friend) over at Jerusalem Stoned, on the birth of her son! Yay!

2. Second, I realized, flipping through the pages of a precious, colorful, picture-y, shiny,  howdoIloveyouletmecounttheways magazine, that at 34 years of age, I can pretty much give up hope of ever understanding "makeup." To wit: If I haven't figured out by now how to "apply blush" without looking like I've overheated or contracted some rare, tropical cheek disease, it ain't happening. (But: Where was I that it was so tropical? Maybe I can go back, when I'm healed?) Also, I will never be able to make my eyes "pop," no matter what In Style promises. (Except to walk into the living room during Tent Construction. "But we NEEDED every single blanket and chair. And we needed all the books, game and puzzle to keep the blankets on the chairs!" They pop pretty nicely then.)

3. First day of school after Sukkot: Like the first day of school, only with more of the dread and none of the excitement. Blech.

4. Note to self: Nadav is not always truthful when he announces: אמא, אני הולך לישון ואז לא עושה פיפי במטה שלי!

5. Also, do not call his new shoes "shoes." What are you, a commoner? They are to be referred to ONLY as "na'alei sport" are you writing this down??

6. Fact: When offered the choice between a flu shot for my children (just show up) and the flu mist (requires a prescription and signing up in advance) I say, "Shoot 'em up."

7. For you Parenthood fans out there: Much as I loved Gilmore Girls, Sarah and Amber are a MUCH better mother-daughter combo than Lorelai and Rory ever were. Rory always kind of annoyed me.

8. Could this week BE any longer? #chandlerforever

9. Sorry, Nadav, the thing you found in Mommy's bathroom with the brightly colored shiny wrapper was NOT a lollipop.

10. I'm a big fan of DIY fruit. My heart sinks a little when the kids spy a mango.

11. People! It is NOT a "sheva bracha." Even if you are referring only to one of the parties, you still say all seven blessings! Sheva brachot. "Seven" is always plural. Except if it's the name of a movie, or some weirdo celebrity's kid.

12. You guys, the state of the house is so bad this week, even the Emergency Layer* has an Emergency Layer.
*Emergency Layer: The worst of the filth in your house that you must clean before you puke. You spend about five minutes cleaning it, because that's all you have. You just have to remove the grimiest layer. Here, it usually entails wiping the sticky milk off the counters and sweeping so you stop crunching with every step. Basically, "When Your House Resembles a Slum, It's Time to Break Out the Broom!" is what I always say.

13. I have ANOTHER cavity. This makes me irrationally indignant. Like, I take good care of my teeth! Why is this happening? Why do bad cavities happen to good people? And I keep feeling the need to clarify to everyone -- dentist, his assistant, the secretary, random people in the office -- that I don't really deserve these cavities. Because I don't want them to think I'm hygienically negligent. (You can just see them dragging me out of Oral Hygiene Court whilst I yell passionately, "But I floss every day, Your Honor!")

14. Today's Heblish: Ariella didn't hear me waking her up this morning "because I was sleeping so tight."

And that's a wrap. How are things with you?