Or in the words of my Tired friend: PLEASE CALM DOWN!
It’s Purim time! Which means it’s time for the Facebook
feminists to get their panties in a bunch. Sorry, didn’t mean to stereotype.
Panties or boxers, either way, your choice, no judgments, you’re a rockstar.
Purim brings out the feminist hand-wringing among the
members of the League of Progressive Women. Mothers literally weeping over
their precious Future Leaders wanting to be princesses and sparkly things instead of
a fire chief or Congresswoman. Like they have let down the entire feminist movement
and have failed as mothers and women if their smart, athletic, strong,
opinionated (but god forbid never beautiful) daughters want to wear a tiara.
These women need to do princess therapy. I suggest locking them
in a room with a dozen tiny Elsas and make them mutter over and over “Princesses
can be feminists too. Princesses can be feminists too.”
I cannot figure out why for self-proclaimed feminists, “feminism”
must always equal “Do not be feminine.” Isn’t feminism all about “we can do
whatever the hell we want?” Why does “whatever the hell we want” have to
exclude anything that smacks of femininity? Why is our goal to be as
un-womanlike – and as much man-like – as possible? Isn’t that the exact opposite
of feminism? (Side rant: Who says men are doing it right anyway? Example: A mother is feeling guilty about something, say, missing a school
function because of work, and we say “Stop with mom guilt! Would your husband
feel guilty?” Well, first of all, he probably would. But his guilt would be
more along the lines of “I feel bad that I cannot be at this school function.
But there is nothing I can do about it so I will move on in life,” and not tie
his worth a father and a person to whether or not he is at this one school
play. Second – let’s say he truly feels no guilt – who says that’s a better
way to be????? End side rant.)
Also – you say you are raising your opinionated strong athletic
glowing smart daughter to have her own thoughts and opinions. And what if that
opinion is “I would like to dress as a princess for Purim?” Why is that a non-legitimate
thought in your eyes? “You can be feminist, but only as I define it.”
Sometimes, parents, – this may come as a shock – it’s not all about you. Your child’s
opinion or choice is not necessarily a reflection on you or your parenting
skills (or lack thereof). Children are entitled to their own opinions because –
wait for it – they are not actually you. Your daughter is her own separate, individual
person with her own thoughts and brain and ideas.
I would also like to ask these progressive women: Do you
wear makeup, nice clothes, heels? Do you shave? Yes? Is it because you are
conforming to some impossibly high standard set by our patriarchal and
misogynistic society? If so, and you simultaneously bemoan your tiara-wearing
daughter – you’re a hypocrite. If it’s because you are doing this for yourself
to feel good about yourself, then why can’t you daughter wear what makes her
feel good and special?
A final note by my Tired friend: The princess phase ends. By
the time they are in upper elementary/middle/high school, they will have moved
on to other types of costumes (many of which are much more time-consuming to prepare,
btw, so say goodbye to pre-packaged ease). If they dress up as a princess, it
will be in an ironic sort of way. So just enjoy the cute sparkly princess phase
while it lasts, because along with adorably mispronouncing words and liking
you, this too, will end.
This post has no ending because I believe endings are
something contrived by our male-dominated society and I am a progressive woman
who will only end her posts if she damn well feels like it.
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