The Highlight of This Week: Our Apartment did NOT Go Up In Flames

That is about the only good thing that happened this week. Let us define "good week" and "bad week" in hypothetical terms.
Good week: Kids aren't sick, everyone is on a schedule and sleeps through the night. I pass my driving test.
Bad week: Kids are sick and home all week. No one sleeps through the night. I (flagrantly) fail my driving test.
Let's just say I had the second kind of week. I was able to complete a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. However, I worked on the jigsaw puzzle at the expense of caring for my sick children and cleaning my filthy apartment. I'll be accepting nominations for "Parent of the Year" starting now.

This is why I have been absent from the world of blogging lo these many days. My sense of humor took a diving leap off the mirpest sometime yesterday, and is now in a crumpled heap on the side of Sderot Chashmonaim. You can honk at it as you pass by. However, by today, I started to miss the blog. I have very fond feelings for it, as I have for you, my loyal readers. I've become sort of attached to blogging. [Digression: See, in my old life, I was always busy at night. I had to prepare SmartBoard lessons, grade book reports, at least for the students who handed them in, (Actual note from parent: "Please excuse 'Steve' from the book report. He was not able to finish the book in time."), or call parents at home, ("No, Mrs. A, your son coming an hour late every day, complete with a blank expression, but missing both his homework and a functional writing implement, is not really working for him .") Now, my nights are blessedly free (not counting sick children) so I actually have time to fill everyone in on our daily adventures. End of digression.]

Before we go any further, I would like to send a shout-out to Shira "Isenberg" who, in her own words, is "embarrassingly and ridiculously addicted to the blog." Shira, there is no reason to be embarrassed. We all need something to waste our time with; I'm glad that I am here to fill that need. Also, Shira has requested that when I come out with a best-seller (and I'm not sure here if she's referring to my tome on child-rearing or my book on aliyah; either way), she would like to be president of my fan club. I just checked, and it seems that position is available, so Shira is hereby awarded with that dubious honor.

Some random thoughts:

Shopping
Today I went shopping with the kiddies. At the stores here, you bag your own groceries. Even if the checkout lady is finished scanning your items, and there is no one behind you in line, she still does not get involved in the bagging process. This is fine. I respect their boundaries. And actually, I found that I kind of like bagging my own stuff because I can make sure the bags are not too heavy. I also like to organize my bags into categories so they're easier to unpack. I start off very organized and structured. Yogurts and milk. Cans. Meat and hot dogs. You get the idea. By the end, though, I'm feeling a lot of pressure. She's done scanning and I've paid. There are people in line behind me waiting for me to finish, because they don't start scanning until the bagging area is clear. Everyone is just watching me bag my items and waiting for me to finish. I start to lose my cool and just throw things in bags without any of my previous organizational techniques. So when I get home, there's always a Random Bag or two. For example: peanuts, toilet cleaner, vanilla. Or: butter, cucumbers, a single roll, and an extension cord. I always find it amusing to see what ends up in the "Random Bag."

Poofahs
Last year, when we came for our pilot trip, I remarked to Donny that we should be thankful that time is the same. Every other unit of measurement is different in Israel, but time is the same. Wouldn't it be annoying, if, for example, every hour was really forty three and a half poofahs? And when you asked someone, "How long does it take to get from Modi'in to Haifa?" and they would answer, "Oh, about 43 poofahs and 17 dinkles" and then you're sitting there frantically trying to do the math in your head, until you give up and buy a Poofah Converter which you keep on your person at all times. So this is something I am grateful for.

[Poofahs actually took on a life of their own. I offered them to my students last year as bribes. "25,000 poofahs to the first 10 people to sit on their seats!" And because they're kids and they love to beat each other at things, even if the thing is imaginary and meaningless , they would race each other to be one of the first ten. Some of the more, ahem, "organized" (and here I mean, "obsessive") students actually kept logs as to how many poofahs they had acquired. It has been suggested that I could also offer poofahs to all of my loyal readers as a reward for being so, well, loyal. So I am offering 23,500 poofahs to the first 10 people to post a comment. (Make sure to keep a running tab of how many you've collected.)]

Another Day, Another Diseased Stick

First a shout-out and a clarification:
Thanks to Shana "Silverberg" Mauer for emailing - I love hearing news from other people's lives. Shana and I were in Bais Yaakov together, and she too, can recite nivim at the drop of a hat. ("Tovim hashnayim...") I would also like to clarify our feelings about pharmacists. Shana is a pharmacist, and felt that the profession was getting a bad rap in the blog. Let me explain: We LOVE the intense lady pharmacists. We are amused, and perhaps a little frightened, but they are GOOD at what they do. It's almost magical, seeing them run to the pull-out drawers, finding exactly what you need, making sure you understand every direction VERY CLEARLY, and then sending you off, all in about 35.5 seconds. So we have nothing but respect for pharmacists and pharmacies. In fact, our two favorite pharmacies in the world are MacabiPharm and Neighborcare. Hope this clears things up, especially for the Silverbergs.

This morning we all awoke, after what basically constituted a nap, and not a good one at that. Yaakov decided, at some point during the night, that the bed was waaayy too comfy, he's much more in tune with the monastic life, so he got out of bed and fell to sleep on the floor. However, he then woke up crying at 3:00. Gee, maybe the floor isn't the best place for a good night's sleep. Maybe Mommy and Daddy knew what they were doing when they put you to sleep in the BED? Anyway, Ariella was in our bed all night (and when I say "our" I am just being generous. I mean "my") whacking me in the eye every so often. This morning I dragged her out of bed, got Yaakov dressed, and we took him to gan.

We will pause here for a digression about the weather. So, you see, the season of winter is upon us. You are already aware of the sudden and torrential downpours. A blessing, to be sure. The weather itself is finally cooling down as well. I hear that in the States it is actually chilly on some days. Here, "cooling down" means it's in the seventies. However, that's good enough for people here! As we are driving down the street to gan, everyone is all decked out in their fall finest. Pants, leggings, sweatshirts, even a puffy winter coat! Brrr! When I took Yaakov to gan yesterday, the ganenet told me I should bring long pants and shirt to keep in gan, now that it's winter. Today, I made sure to dress him in pants, because, you know, it may get into the low seventies. (Actually, it is interesting how the weather changes from minute to minute. Today it went from warm, to actually chilly, and then warm again an hour later. Layers, people, layers.)

So Ariella and I did our shopping this morning. As usual, we spent lots of money and there's STILL nothing to eat. After coming home, we did puzzles. So. Many. Puzzles. If I have to look at a "Hello Kitty" puzzle again, I am going to take her (Hello Kitty), mouthless face and all, and shake her hard until she crumbles into 100 pieces (best for ages 5 and up.) At 1:00, my cell phone rang. It was Yaakov's gan - he had fever. AHHHHH!!!!! So we headed over, picked him up, and brought him home to join in our "fun." Let me just say, I have never so badly wanted to be in ulpan. I made an appointment for Yaakov using the "automated system" which actually worked out quite well, in that it worked. But the appointment was not until 7:00 PM. We went to the doctor at 7, got another diseased stick to take to the lab tomorrow, and were sent home with a prescription. Unforunately, Ariella's results were not back yet. The doctor thought both of them probably had something viral and not strep. I concurred, because my children are extremely fond of these viruses which are not able to be treated with drugs. We came home, I convinced Ariella to go to sleep in her bed, and I was able to convince Yaakov that the sofa, at least, is a preferable alternative to the floor.

Now I await Donny's return. He had a late meeting and didn't take a train until 8:00. The upside: If he stays in the office past 6:00, he gets dinner. The downside: The dinner never came. Poor Donny only had breakfast, snack, lunch, and snack today! It must be rough. I, meanwhile, dined on a package of rice cakes, yogurt, and a couple of spoonfuls of Israeli salad. Fine dining indeed!

Some funny Hebrew things:
1. The company that takes care of all of the food needs at Microsoft is called "Corporate Feeding." You can almost see the businessmen lined up at the trough, waiting their turn, then leaning over to take a slurp.
2. When someone is "still at lunch" they are "adayin he ba'ochel" - they are still in food. I guess that's what happens when you lean over too far at the trough.

A Papa Bear Kind of Day

So here I am, thinking, what am I going to blog about now? The chagim are over, we're nearing the end of our "siddurim" (that's what you call things you have to take care of), and we're all back on a regular, boring schedule. How will I fill my time and the empty spaces of this blog? Ha! Day One of our first "normal" week was anything but normal. Luckily for you, loyal readers, the worse my day is, the better it is for you.

We'll back up to Shabbat. We were very happy to host Savta and the Elusive Uncle Jonathan for Shabbat. Donny went and picked them up from Jerusalem on Friday. Ariella and Yaakov quickly picked a partner, which worked out very well for Donny and me. Savta played games and did puzzles with Yaakov all of Friday, and Jonathan and Ariella engaged in intense literary debates, discussing various themes and motifs found in "ABC: The Alphabet Book","Click Clack Moo: Cows that Type," "Madeline," and "Curious George." Savta and Ariella also played many games throughout Shabbat, including Chutes and Ladders and CandyLand. It was very nice to spend time with the family, and the kids loved their playmates. Saturday night, we bid a fond farewell to Uncle Jonathan as he melted back into his elusive existence.

Saturday night is when the fun started. First, Yaakov fell asleep, snoring loudly, on the floor outside his room. This amused us; we took pictures. After finally going to sleep at midnight (0:00 on my clock - it always freaks me out, like something is about to blow up), we were awoken at 1:30 AM by someone calling on our American line wanting to speak to "Mike." "Mike" has been getting many messages these past few weeks. We finally spoke to one of the people calling for him and told the person, that, no, Mike was not trying to trick them by leaving his message as, "Hi, you've reached Gila and Donny." Mike, in fact, does not reside at this number. In facter, this number does not even reside in the United States of America. They seemed very understanding, apologized, and hung up. Clearly, after they hung up, they shook their heads, laughing, "Oh, that Mike, he is a clever one! Pretending he doesn't have that number! He can't trick us! Oh no, we are too smart for him. We will continue to call this number, at all hours of the day and night! We will find Mike!" So those intrepid people continue to call. After I told them in no uncertain terms that I was not Mike, I hung up, turned off the ringer, and tried to go back to sleep. However, at 4:00, we had a nocturnal visitor in the form of Ariella. It turned out that the "my throat and head hurt" complaint before bed was not a Gan Avoidance Technique, but that she was actually sick. So much for "back to routine."

In the morning, Donny went off to work, and since Savta was spending the day with us, I was able to leave Ariella moaning and groaning on the couch and take Yaakov to gan without her. I dropped him off at gan, then went to Tipat Chalav. See, doctors here check you and prescribe drugs, but that's it. All immunizations are done at tipat chalav, and they of course require numerous visits and paperwork. Since Yaakov was due for his second Hep A shot, I figured I should begin the process now, in the hopes he would be fully immunized by first grade. But I went prepared, having heard in advance that I would need a copy of his immunization record with me. (Ha! Score one for me!) She took the record and my phone number and said she would "call me" to set up the appointment. Hmmmm. I am skeptical.

Then it was back to the apartment, hold Ariella while she moaned and groaned, and then I actually had to go off to the doctor for myself. I scheduled this appointment last week, thinking I would do it in the morning while the kids were in gan. Luckily, Savta to the rescue again - she stayed with Ariella while I went. (Oh, and I learned that unless you have a deadly illness, you don't use the word "choleh," just, "lo margish tov." So when your kid is bawling their eyes out, spewing all kinds of nasty stuff from various orifices, you don't say, "He's sick," you say, "Yeah, he's not feelin' so hot today.") While waiting for the doctor in the waiting room, I got a phone call. I answered. "Hello?" Unfortunately, the speaker responded in Hebrew. Which meant I had to have one of those conversations over the phone with a fast-talking Israeli lady, and me only understanding every fourth word. Plus only being able to answer "Ken" and "Bseder." I was able to understand three words: "car" "Microsoft" and "test." Using my keen deductive skills, I figured out that they needed to take out car to do some kind of test. I mumbled something about being home in twenty minutes, hoping desperately that my answer matched their question. (A minute later, Donny texted me, saying, "Oh, someone's going to be calling you because they need to take the car in for a test." Thanks man.) After my doctor's appointment, I made an appointment for Ariella at 10:50, and then went back home. I would just like to note here that Ilana, the secretary at the Dimri medical offices, is exceptionally nice and sweet and always has a smile on her face and I love her. We had a short visit with Lisa, who was in Modi'in and stopped by, and then the Car Man called. Car Lady was just the person who sets up the appointment. Car Man is the person who actually takes the car, and he is a REAL Israeli. The kind that not only never heard of "English," but can't understand Hebrew with an American accent. Not only that - here's where it gets really amusing - he wanted directions! From me! I can barely give you directions to the other side of the room! It took me 7 years to be able to (sort of) direct people to our home in Riverdale, and even that I could only do via the Henry Hudson. Coming from the Deegan? Thruway? Fuggedaboutit. Now, not only did this Real Israeli want directions, from me, who has barely been here 2 months, but I had to give them in Hebrew. With an Israeli accent. After trying to squeak by with "ken" and "bseder" he called my bluff. "I'm not sure you know Hebrew," he said, in a not so kind voice. Gee, what gave it away? Anyway, at that point I had to leave with Ariella for the doctor, so I called Donny, told him to deal with Car Man, and left. (I know that Donny treasures those hysterical phone calls from me. I think it brings us closer.)

So we went back to the doctor (this is the third time there in 3 days.) Luckily we had the English-speaking doctor. He looked in her throat, and said it definitely looks infected. I was thinking, "Oh God, he's going to tell me she needs a strep test, but that they don't do that here, and he'll give me a million sheets of paper and I'll have to go to the pharmacy to pick up the test, then make an appointment with nurses to do the test, and then get something stamped at the bank. For a two shekel fee." Well, it wasn't that bad. Good news: He swabbed her throat. Better news: Since the throat looked infected, he gave me a prescription for antibiotics. A mother's dream! Bad news: He could not actually test the swab in the office. So he took the diseased stick, wrapped it up in a piece of paper, stapled it, and told me to take it to the lab to be tested. Even though it was only 11:00, he said he was pretty sure it wouldn't go out until Monday, which meant the results wouldn't be in until Tuesday. No wonder he gave me the prescription right away!

No problem. After the appointment, I met Car Man outside the building. He made sure to speak Very Slowly. Using small words. Gesturing often. I gave him the keys, hoped he wasn't a terrorist, and set off for home. Now, I needed to go to the Macabi building with my diseased stick and the prescription. I was also carless, which wasn't such a huge deal with the Macabi building is very close, and Savta was around so I didn't have to drag Ariella with me. The path to Macabi is a similar walk to Death by Brambles, just a little to the left. I headed off across the dirt path. First, I tried to get rid of the diseased stick. I went to where the doctor told me, but then got yelled at and was told, yes, we'll take your diseased stick, but next time, you need to bring it upstairs, not here. Fine, at least it was out of my hands. Literally. Then I went to MacabiPharm, where it seemed that every person in Modi'in needed some medication urgently, and all of them needed to spend a really long time discussing everything about their disease with the pharmacist. Plus, their handy-dandy computerized system was down, so at least two pharmacists were on the phone with tech support trying to explain that it said "130" when really we were up to "264." Really, I think their time could have been better spent. So I waited in line for 30 minutes, very grateful that Ariella, who "wasn't feelin' so hot," was at home. During the wait, it started to POUR. I mean, I did say "mashiv haruach" in the morning, so I wasn't totally surprised. However, this did not make so happy, seeing as I was totally unprepared, coverage-wise. I hoped it would stop by the time I was ready to leave, which at this rate would be about the same time the strep test came back.

When it was my turn, I got one of the Intense Ladies (see: earlier posts) who was even more intense because of all the hustle and bustle. She only wanted to fill part of my prescription - give me one bottle of amoxicillin, enough for 4 days, and then, if the test was positive, I would come back and she would give me the rest. Ha! I said. "You may be an intense Israeli lady pharmacist, but I am a mother hell-bent on getting medicine and not having to come back here. So give me all the bottles." "But then you might have to throw some out!" It was a consequence I was willing to live with.

I left with my meds in hand. This is when things turned Papa Bearish. I started walking home in the downpour, but as I was walking, the road quickly became mud. My sneakers were starting to sink in the mud. I tried to clamber up the nearest hill, to higher ground, but I started slipping and losing my footing. Then, I realized I couldn't even cross the street because there was a six inch (= some amount of centimers) puddle. So I had to backtrack, through the gloppy mud, cross the street, and then go the long way home. Of course, the brilliant minds running Dimri Towers thought that today would be a good time to implement the security measures, and when I got back, the door was locked. I called Donny hysterically (do you see a pattern?) to get the code. When I punched it in, it said, "Enter," but the door did not budge. Ha ha! They have some kind of sense of humor, those Dimri people. Luckily, someone was coming out and opened the door for me.

The rest of the afternoon was quieter. I changed into dry clothes. Our car got returned, the FedEx man came with my credit card, Ariella and I did puzzles, I picked up Yaakov, etc etc.

We bid Savta a tearful farewell - the kids really enjoyed having her around, playing games together, discussing life, and we hope the next time she comes we'll get to see her more. Then they went to sleep. Or not, but you get the idea. Tomorrow I'm hoping for a more Sister Bear kind of day. She always has things together, that Sister Bear.

Choref Zman

First of all, I would like to wish a huge mazel tov to Arica "Factor" Salzman, a loyal reader and fellow aliyah blogger, on the birth of her son!

So now the real work begins. You can feel it in the air here - choref zman. No more chagim, and none of those "Veteran's Day" or "Columbus Day" or "Thanksgiving" holidays that we have in America to break up that long stretch. Just work, school, Shabbat, work, school, Shabbat. We said goodbye to Donny until Pesach, which is the next time we'll spend any actual time with him. The kids see him for a few minutes in the morning, and Yaakov sees him at night during his (Yaakov's) nighttime wanderings. (Digression: Yaakov is in a bed; hence the wanderings. For some reason he needs very little sleep to function/wreak havoc in the world, so he stays up till all hours of the night and then is up bright and early the next day. For example, as I am typing this, during my half hour of solutitude between 6:00 and 6:30 AM, Yaakov has graciously decided to keep me company. I should really thank him. Anyway, at night, he slips out of bed, and creeps over to whichever area of the apartment I am not in. Why, you ask? To wreak havoc, of course, haven't you been paying attention? Two nights ago, I was in my room, exercising (I know, crazy thought - who knew that eating bread and rugelach 3 meals a day for a month was NOT a great diet tip?) Anyway, when I finished, I found him quietly playing in the back corner of the living room. Last night, when I was in kitchen - which doubles as our dining room, very efficient - I went into my room after a while to find him playing in my makeup bag, with a phone charger draped around his neck. At that point, Donny was home, and he (Donny) decided enough is enough, so into the crib he (Yaakov) went. However, he still caught me getting up this morning and decided to cry until I picked him up, lest he miss some morning excitement. End of digression.)

So on Wednesday, Yaakov and Daddy were off, and Ariella and I were home for the day together. We went shopping, did some baking in preparation for our Shabbos guests (Savta and The Elusive Jonathan), went to sign Ariella up for an Ivrit chug and then blessedly did not have to pick up Yaakov until four. This left us just enough time to play Zingo, CandyLand, and Chutes and Ladders (that cursed game.) On Thursday, everyone was off - gan, work, ulpan. The morahs had to pry my crying children off me, but they were successful. I had bribed Ariella with ice cream, so when I picked her up, we went over to a really awesome ice cream place (thanks, Lisa!) and got two bullets in a goblet. It was quite delicious and we decided it was worth going to school to get this ice cream.

Random thought:
Israelis sometimes have no perception of how we view them. I base this sweeping generalization on a single conversation I had with Donny's cousin over Shabbat. However, I enjoy making sweeping generalizations, especially if they are LONG and RAMBLING. So Donny's cousin remarked how the kids were adjusting to the Israeli food, because Ariella put a heaping spoonful of chummus on her plate. I said, "Yeah, she loves chummus and Yaakov loves chocolate spread." The cousin was astounded that chocolate spread was considered an "Israeli" food. "You mean you don't have that in America?!!!" No, I said, melting chocolate, putting it on pita, and calling that "breakfast" is strictly an Israeli contrivance. (Not to say we don't have our own junk food masquerading as breakfast in America... which is "healthy" because it has "fruit.")

Simchat Torah - for real

**Read below for the brief version. This is the full-blown, every-excruciating-detail version.**

So unfortunately, the brief version of Simchat Torah was probably better, since our actual chag was kind of lame. We davened at the shul we call Death by Brambles, because in order to get there to you have to hike over the steep, rock-strewn, VERY HOT, and of course, bramble-filled pathway. On Simchat Torah night, we went to shul with Donny, which was a mistake because after minchah they do an auction so hakafot weren't for a while. Luckily, there is a little playground right outside the shul, so the kids amused themselves for an hour. They were all ready for the festivities to begin. On Sukkot, Thea had given them little bags to hold all of their candy in. They were all set - they had been waiting for the Chag HaCandy for a week now. Hakafot started - "Torat Hashem Temimah" - and all that. No candy. We waited and waited. Yaakov was totally overwhelmed by the crowds and noise and reacted like his father - he fell asleep. Literally. I panicked because I did not want to carry a little sleeping boy back home through the brambles. I kept waking him up and promising him candy. Unfortunately, it was not to be. At some point they brought out Krembos - people, this is not candy!!! - but my children were not satisfied. I was appalled. Where were the bars of chocolate, gum, lollipops, those awesome chewy candies, and other things to make my children happy and hyper? What kind of shul was this, where children are apparently able to achieve happiness without the aid of candy? We left mid-hakafot because our beloved darlings were starting to fall apart.

The next day, shul started at 7:30. I arrived with the kids at 9:00, lollipops in hand - I am not a total fool. Today, for sure, I thought, there will be oodles of candy. Sadly, it was not to be. The kids danced, went on Donny's shoulders, and ran around outside a little, but it was kind of lame. For a true Simchat Torah experience, you need a chevra to shmooze with during the endless hakafot and layning, and you need candy. Unfortunately, we had neither. After Kol HaNearim (which was way too long - they started the layning at "V'Zot Habracha"), I left with the kids. As we walked out of shul we saw - candy? Not quite, but bags of goodies for all the kids. After hiking home, the kids had a very pleasant pre-lunch of Bissli (actually the knock-off brand), gum, taffies, a chocolate-covered wafer, and some "fruit drink."



We will pause here for a child-rearing tip. I know I've mentioned my soon-to-be published book on raising children, "Leave Me Alone So I Can Read The Paper." You may be wondering how I've managed to raise such wonderful, well-mannered, and delightful children. If you are, you clearly haven't met my children. Nevertheless, I have some excellent advice: Don't do the "save some for later" technique. As we were leaving, I overheard a mother say to her child, "You can pick one thing from the bag now, and save the rest for later." I used to be like that. But then I realized it just caused more fights than it was worth - negotiating, bargaining, when can the next snack be, can I have two of these now and three later. Now, when my kids get goodie bags and the like, I let them finish it in one sitting. Then, it's gone, and I don't have to engage in any negotiations later on. The point is that you may think I'm a bad mother for letting my children eat a large amount of junk (and I mean that in the purest sense of the word) food at once. And you would be right. But now, it's motzei chag and the treats are long gone and forgotten by my children.



Back to Simchat Torah. Donny eventually returned from shul and we ate. Then everyone crashed, literally. I fell asleep on the sofa. Ariella fell asleep on the floor wedged between the mirpeset door and the couch, mid-game. Yaakov fell asleep on the floor next to Donny's bed. And of course, Donny fell asleep in bed. After we woke up, we had ice cream, which combined with Bissli basically became the kids' dinner. Then, chag was over! No more chag sameach until Pesach! Now the real work begins.



Right after chag, I got a very exciting call. A former student of mine, Aviva Michaeli, was in Modi'in with her family and wanted to stop by! It was very cute because they had to do some serious investigative work to track me down, but Aviva really wanted to come and give me a hug. So they came by for a few minutes. It was so nice to see her and we took a picture together, so I now have solid proof that some people at SAR still remember me.



Random thought:

At shul, I overheard a conversation between two Americans, one of whom said something about his kid weighing 19 kilos. How long does it take, I wonder, to erase almost 30 years of thinking in pounds, miles, cups, and ounces, and to start thinking in kilos, kilometers, grams, and liters? Donny thinks it happens around the same time that you can count backwards from 10 to 1 in Hebrew without having to think about it. Will keep you posted.

Simchat Torah

This post is for Donny, who said that my entries were "too long and rambling."

Simchat Torah: Too much davening. Not enough candy. Havdalah.

The Dead Sea - Still Dead

First of all, a shout-out to Gidon Ariel, the Maale Adumim English-language spokesman and candidate for city council. This is not a political endorsement, but I would like to thank Mr. Ariel for his comment and to note that he is the very first candidate/official-type person to have posted a comment on my blog.

A first and last foray into electrical things: Last night, I needed to charge something. The appliance in need of charging was an American appliance. No problem, thought I, I will simply plug it into a converter and then into the wall, and voila, I will have power. It is pretty simple, unless you mistake an adapter for a converter. So instead of converting the electricity from 110 to 220, I basically plugged in a 110 charger into a 220 outlet, blowing up my charger in the process. Like I said, first and last foray into electrical things.

On to the Dead Sea. We left the house at half past nine, in two straight lines. We brought our snacks, water, suntan lotion, hats, and sunglasses. We were READY, man! We drove down to the Dead Sea. We saw camels, desert, mountains, desert mountains, Bedouins, and more camels. The kids enjoyed seeing the camels, and the drive down Route 90 was beautiful. There are a few different places to stop along the route. The first place we stopped was at the "braychot,"before the Dead Sea. As we pulled in to pay, they made sure we understood that there was no entrance to the Dead Sea itself. However, this place had been recommended by Uncle David as a nice place for the kids to run around and throw rocks. So we forged ahead. After paying 60 NIS and parking, we got out to begin the hike. It was HOT down there! But we are real men, so that did not stop us. We walked around a path until we came to the first of the braychot, which are pools. We then realized that the point of the braychot was to braycha - swim. And I had not brought any of our swim gear. The kids of course were begging to go in, although when I got closer I saw a lot of sweaty men and naked children, so I was kind of glad I had forgotten the swim stuff. We walked around for a while, but as I said, it was very hot, and Yaakov's rock-throwing was half-hearted. We stopped for a snack of dried fruits and nuts and then headed back to the car. It seemed that the area which David had recommended was closed off and we couldn't walk there. But we are Adventurers, so we set off looking for the next adventure.

We then drove into the Dead Sea proper. Well not into the sea exactly, although Ariella would have enjoyed experimenting to see if our car would float. Yaakov had fallen asleep in the car and was very cranky upon awakening, so Donny carried him down to the sea. This was my second time at the Dead Sea, and I have to say, it's kind of boring and a little bit gross. I mean, I was glad we went, and it was cool to show the kids the lowest point on earth, and all that. Donny, Ariella, and I put our hands in a little and Donny was in pain because his hand had gotten a little cut from opening all the pistachio nuts. Yaakov has eczema all over his hands, so I was happy he didn't even want to attempt to touch the water. Ariella touched it but didn't like the slimy/grimy feel it left on her hands. We had fun and at the same time were slightly grossed out by the people diving into the sea and slathering their bodies with mud. Ariella couldn't believe there were people who chose to put mud all over themselves. So we didn't stay very long. We hiked back up, got ice cream, swatted flies, and then back to the car for the next adventure.

We drove further down to Ein Gedi. This was the highlight of our trip. We had to pay an entrance fee, but it was worth it. First of all, it was really funny because a good 50% of the people there were English-speakers. We started the hike around 2:30, so the sun was already going down and it wasn't too hot. We stopped at the lower falls first, because the kids wanted to see some water, darn it. We had a true OI (Only in Israel; pronounced "oy") moment. As we descended, we saw an Israeli family had parked themselves next to the falls. They had their picnic lunch and a guitar, and they were staging an impromptu singalong. It was so nice! They were singing all these Sukkot songs, and people were humming and clapping along. The kids had a chance to play with rocks and get their hands wet, although Ariella told me in no uncertain terms that next time we'd better bring bathing suits. They amused themselves for a while, and then we went back up to the path. At this point, Yaakov decided he'd had enough hiking, so he and Donny headed back to the car. Ariella and I carried on, because Ariella loves to hike. She was a trooper - there was a fair amount of climbing involved, but she loved it! We made it all the way to the upper falls. At one point, I thought we needed to cross this stream, and the only way to do it was to have a nice random English-speaker help Ariella jump across, and I had no choice but to submerge my sneaker-clad foot in the stream. In turns out we didn't actually need to cross the stream, but I realized that too late, and I had to walk back to the car with that "squish
squish" thing going on. But Ariella was raving about Ein Gedi and can't wait to go back. Plus, we saw some cool animals. One was something that I identified as a "not squirrel." The other was an ayala - I think an ibex. There was actually a whole family of ibexes (ibexi? ibexen?) on the ledge
above us. They were really close to us and just stood calmly above the trail and stared at us. ("Look, Mom, humans! Cool! Do you see the little one with the mommy? It's so cute!"
"Just stay very still, you don't want to scare them.")
After returning to the car, we began the long drive back to Modi'in, passing the camels, desert, Bedouins, mountains, camels, etc. When we arrived back home, everyone showered or bathed and then we headed out in search of a restaurant with a sukkah. (There is a definite advantage to this whole "not having a sukkah" thing.) We found this amazing restaurant in the middle of nowhere. See, Modi'in is full of little shopping centers, or "senters" in Hebrew. One thing we were actually very impressed with in Maale Adumim is that their mall has all of the things you would need conveniently located in one mall. In Modi'in, they're dispersed throughout the city. So we've become pretty familiar with Merlaz, Malibu, Yishpru, and so on, but this restaurant was located in "Ligad Center" which we had never heard of before. It turns out that you basically leave Modi'in, drive down a spooky, dark road, and you end up at this center. The restaurant was called "Alberto's" (or "Albatraoss" if you're reading it in Hebrew really fast.) The sukkah was beautiful and pretty empty. Before we even ordered, they brought us a pitcher of fresh lemonade and these unbelievable, warm lafahs with about 10 different salads. We ordered steaks, hamburgers, and hot dogs, and the food came with rice, Israeli salad, and french fries. The food was amazing and we had a great time. We highly recommend this restaurant to anyone who can find it.

So ends our Chol HaMoed Adventures. The next excitement: Simchat Torah! Stay tuned...