Next Safety

Are you tired of answering endless variations of the eternal summer question: "What are we going to do now?" (Also known as, "What are we eating for dinner?" and "Where are we going?")

Fellow parents, suffer no more! With "Next Safety," you are protected from ever answering this question again!

Next safety is easy to use. If you've ever played Dodgeball, or its Israeli equivalent, the inexplicably named "Chayei Sara," then you're halfway there! Just like head safety protects your head, next safety protects your sanity.

Here's how it works:

Kid: What are we dooooooooing todaaaaaay?

Parent: Next safety! [This gives you automatic immunity from having to answer the question.]

Kid: Grumble, grumble [Which is what they've been saying all summer, and, let's face it, probably would have replied to anything you would have said in response to their question.]

The reason it works, at least in our family, is because the parents really don't know! Eventually, when we are doing the activity - it could be hiking, swimming, or "Yes you can watch another Curious George," depending on what point of the summer we are in - everyone will have, at long last, the answer!

What the children can ask, as often and freely as they want, is "What are we doing right at this very moment?"

Example:

Kid: What are we doing right at this very moment?

Parent: We are eating breakfast. OR
We are hiking. OR
We are driving. OR
We are threatening to turn this car around right now.

Because I love you all, I am sharing this fine piece of parenting advice with you, my Loyal Readers. I encourage you to implement it early and often.

A good day to you, and god luck in whatever it is that you are doing. (Don't worry, I won't ask you what it is.)