First, let's talk about the stuff that *doesn't* last. A few of the games and toys I've thrown out recently:
1. Every remote control car we've ever purchased. We buy it, eagerly stuff in the batteries, start 'er up and for a few glorious nanoseconds, it works! Forward, backward, side, other side, into the chair, into the couch, under the table, through the trash pile, into a sibling. Wondrous! Then suddenly, it begins acting as if possessed, driving around in circles, paying little heed to the remote control or the frantic screeching of the children "Go there! That way! THAT WAY!" We then proceed to change the batteries in the car, in the remote, and in all the clocks and nearby toys just to be safe, but the car continues its feverish lurching until it comes to a sudden halt, silent, forevermore. No amount of pleading or battery changing can fix it, and it joins its friends "art projects" and "cutlery" in the garbage. (Who is throwing away all the cereal spoons and butter knives??? Who is it??? Whatever the cutlery did to you I PROMISE IT'S SORRY!)
2. Domino Rally aka "Spend hours setting up fragile domino pieces juuuussst so, to the point where your finger tips are numb, all while screaming at your sibling whose sneezes and existence are causing the dominos to fall. Then after countless frustrating hours (or maybe it's minutes who knows the unbearable tension does weird things with time) actually complete your Rally, call everyone over excitedly to watch this spectacular domino show that will be remembered for the ages and cry bitter tears because in the middle of toppling, one slightly-off-track piece causes the whole topple to stop, mid-topple. Finish by getting frustrated and kicking it, spraying domino pieces across the room and under the couch."
3. Bul pegiyah aka Mastermind: This toy is a favorite of the twins, who enjoy putting the pieces in the little holes, throwing them on the floor and on occasion, swallowing them. Just like love, Mastermind is now a very easy game to play because all that's left are one light blue and one orange piece. ("Um, is your code blue then orange?" "Omg yes! You won AGAIN!")
This stepstool, you guys, this has been with us since the beginning. It was a much darker shade of blue, back then. Also, we realized after many years of ownership that the top actually comes off and oh my god for the love of the chocolates I have hidden in the top cabinet behind the cereals do NOT take the top off, whatever you do. This stool is actually a lot like my kids, in that loves to hang out in the kitchen, underfoot, until I need it to do something for me and then suddenly it's nowhere to be found.
However, on the rare occasion that it's in the right place at the right time, it is a very useful item, allowing me to shove all the baking trays in the too-high cabinet (watch your head) and reach my chocolates.
The granola of my discontent
1 month ago