Thursday, April 16, 2015

Warning: Ramblings Ahead

It's a post-apologetic world we (I) live in, so I don't need to start by apologizing for the infrequency of postings, blah blah blah. Let's just jump right in.

State of the Blog, April 2015; Or, A Healthy Dose of Ramblings

1. Judgy McJudgersons: I will admit, had I met you a decade ago I would have judged you. Totally. Because 10 years ago, I knew everything. Now, I know nothing. Whatever parenting goals I may have had are reduced to: "I hope no one in the family ends up a life-long criminal." (See? I've lowered my standards from "I hope no one ends up in jail." I'm just hoping it's not a life of crime.) So, in my know-nothing state, I've become less judgy. Also, I've realized being judgmental is just
1. stupid
2. tiring, because who really has energy to care what other people do unless the thing they do is putting back the Ben and Jerry's with only a tiny half scoop left? (Don't be that person.) So I try to just be "live and let live-y." There are only two types of people I judge:

a. Judgmental people
b. People who are like, "This is what I did and therefore this is the correct/right/only way to do said thing," whether it's about parenting, religion, whatever. Those people irk me.
"We swaddled our baby and she slept through the night by the time she was 3 hours old. Therefore everyone must swaddle if you want your baby to sleep through the night."
"We used a sticker chart and our child never ever misbehaved again. Therefore sticker charts always always work."
"I kept my kid home till she was three/I sent my kid to gan at three months and now she's the smartest/fastest/tallest/funniest/prettiest/bestest child in the class. Therefore the right choice is to keep your kid home/send your kid to gan."
"I don't cover my hair because God just cares about how we act/I cover my hair because it's a mitzvah from the Torah. Therefore, I am a good Jew because I don't cover/cover my hair.

Grrrr. Don't be that person, either.

(Note: Do not confuse "I do not judge" with "I do not mock." Because I mock, dear reader. Ohhhh yes.)

2. Pesach: I can't even remember what we did and yet I still have my to-do list tacked onto the fridge. With all the lovely crossouts. I just can't seem to take it down. I'm so proud of it.

3. Twin update: You know what makes you nostalgic and wistful for having a little baby? Having two little babies.

The twins are now eating. Here's what they like to eat:

Shoham: Yogurt, sweet potatoes, avocado, banana, chummus, cholent, chopped liver, chicken soup, lentil soup, bean soup, ground meat, oatmeal
Sivan: Socks, feet, washcloths

4. Twin update, part two (ha! Get it?): I finally bought baby books for the twins. If anyone out there does not have kids yet, here's my advice: Don't buy baby books. Just don't start. Because if you do it for the first, you gotta do it for the fifth. And while Ariella's is the size of an advanced biology textbook (parts I and II), Nadav's is more the size of a Scholastic book order. And the twins didn't even HAVE books till now, 6 months later. So I bought them. And they are ALREADY stressing me out because I don't remember when I first felt fluttering, or the date when they first smiled. Ack! So they remain in a corner, untouched, because I'm too overwhelmed with all of my non-remembering to crack them open. You are probably thinking this can only continue to get worse. You are probably right.

5. A final Thought: I am literally living the famous parenting saying, "The days crawl but the years fly by." On the one hand, I'm planning a bat mitzvah. I think: "My little girl! She's so grown up! When did that happen? Wasn't she just a baby? Wasn't I just holding her in my arms and rocking her in that chair?"
On the other, I have two babies. That I hold in my arms and rock in that chair. And I think: "Oh my god will we ever get out of this baby stage???" Hard to imagine these spit-uppy, babbling (but no consonants yet - don't tell tipat chalav!), toe-eating, bathing-on-the-kitchen-counter babies will one day have their bat mitzvahs. And yet...