Monday, January 30, 2012

30-Second Update

Around these parts...

Nadav introduced us to the Yo-Hawk....

...and read some books with Zaidy at the library (This lasted about 30 seconds till he--Nadav--decided it was time to grab the book and make a break for it)....

....when Zaidy's not busy whispering to Nadav, "Remember, Zaidy is ALWAYS fun. The rest of the people here are SOMETIMES fun, but Zaidy is ALWAYS fun. Remember that," he is learning gemara with Ariella...

...and here is a rare moment of quiet, with the three young 'uns watching Cars 2 on Mommy's computer. (This lasted about 30 seconds until Nadav decided it was time to climb onto the table and touch all the buttons on Mommy's computer at the same time.)

Other fun things that are going on here:

1. Nadav eating with a spoon. This lasts about 30 seconds, until he realizes it will go much faster if he uses both hands to shovel the rice into his mouth, and then, just for kicks, he overturns his entire plate of rice onto the floor and rubs his hands in his hair.

2. Our nightly dinners with Bubby and Zaidy. Zaidy's spoon skills are vastly superior to Nadav's, so the whole process is much cleaner. But Zaidy is the one who taught the grandchildren (and children) to eat Cheerios off the table with their tongues, which the grandchildren of course extended to eating all manner of food thusly, including chocolate chips, which then melt on their on a neatness scale, it's about a wash. (Ha!)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

An Un-Ideal Family

Well, if you're wondering why the Roses have been walking around looking morose, it's because I just found out today that with the arrival of Nadav, our "harmonious family life" ranking plummeted from #2 to #8 (on a scale of 1-12).

That's right. According to a study conducted by Researchers, the second-happiest family type is one boy and one girl. Yaakov prevented us from reaching true nirvana by being male, as the ideal Happy Family has two girls.

And Loyal Readers, it could only get worse. At this point, additional children will send us spiraling ever downward. Another boy kicks us to #9. And a girl? Two boys and two girls place us at number eleven! Second to last! Only four girls would be worst!

Loyal Readers, I am glad I found out this information, because until today, I was mistakenly going through life thinking that girl+boy+boy was not too bad.

Also, I learned other useful stuff. Did you know that parents of 4 girls have to deal with things that are nowhere near the horizon of us parents-of-other-combos? Apparently, with four girls, "Bedtime routine is a nightmare." Definitely can't relate, here it's all rainbows and smiles and the occasional happy dance. Or, "Four girls create a lot of noise around the house." Nope, here it's perfectly quiet.

Wait a minute. It IS perfectly quiet. That means children are off somewhere performing Illegal Activities. This could be anything from "Rearranging the entire contents of our room" to "Fun with Toilets." Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Also, with four girls, it seems parents "Need a bigger car and house." Because parents of four boys just stuff them into the back of a sedan and sleep them head-to-toe on a cot.

So all in all, a very informative read. But Loyal Readers, fret not. Despite our less-than-optimal gender combo, we will sally forth. Congrats to all you high-rankers for keepin' it happy. And to your poor folks below even us, I say, Stay Strong!

Monday, January 23, 2012

We Check in With DADZ

Shhh.... DADZ is napping.

It's been a busy couple of weeks for our favorite caps lock devotee. But DADZ has made some great Israeli strides since arriving:

1. He has a coffee name. We rejected "Ziv," Donny's alias, because DADZ pronounces it with a short "i" instead of a long "e." "Noam" was also rejected, because DADZ is not seven and the Baltimore "o" was killing it. We've decided on "Avi." An easy two syllables, no "r" or "o" in sight, just trips off the tongue.

2. He can get to and from the bank. This is due to the number of trips he and Momz have had to make to the bank, which you can read all about here. But still. It has helped his Modiin geographical skills greatly.

3. He has made friends with Nadav. M&D's room is the room formerly known as Nadav's room (Nadav is currently bunking with his sibs; it's just a regular snore-fest in there). On the 'rents' first night here, DADZ was lying down (naturally) on his bed. Nadav wandered into his room, saw his crib had been removed and there was a scary man sleeping in the bed. He ran out, shrieking, as fast as his wobbly body (Nadav, not Zaidy) would let him. However, since that moment, he has cautiously made friends with Zaidy. He realized Zaidy is excellent at some of his favorite games, like Climb on Couch, Hide Small Objects in Couch, Hand Things to Someone and Then They Hand Them Back, and Place Large Popcorn Bucket on Head. He even lets Zaidy hold him. Progress.

4. He bought Israeli clothing staples, including jeans, a fleece (both hooded and non-hooded) and Crocs.

5. He has learned to print things all by himself. DADZ is to technology what a one-armed gecko is to ballet dancing. Not a natural. But he has learned all about printing, tabs ("Now I can check my email AND look up something online at the same time!"), minimizing and even touch pads. He's getting closer. More like a two-armed gecko.

Things still to work on:

Must wean himself off his dependence on Suisse Mocha, a chemical-filled, coffee-flavored "drink" that he consumes by the bucket.

But really, KUDOS to DADZ on some great progress this month. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Things that are annoying me and taking up lots of time:

1. Cars. They are inefficient, money-sucking, dangerous hunks of metal and I vote we all just learn to fly. Yaakov will teach us.
The car in specific that is annoying me is the one (mine) that was making a special flapping noise. Which turned out to be not a herd of wild horses (as Yaakov conjectured), but the flattiest flattest tire you have ever seen. And then, when Donny tried to change the tire, he said he was missing some sort of metal turn-y piece that is necessary for getting the spare out. So then he called Triple Aleph, but when that guy came and I mentioned the missing piece, he said, "And am I so different than your husband? [Ed. note: What a very appropriate thought, on this week of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday.] I also need that piece! It's supposed to come with the car! I will have to call a tow truck, but you'll need to drive out of your garage to meet him outside."

So then I had to drive my lopsided van outside, but luckily they didn't ask me to drive it onto the tow truck. Which is how I came to be driving beside a taciturn, be-earringed young man who towed me to the nearest "puncheria" to get a new tire.

Perhaps you, like me, thought that a car arriving at the puncheria on a tow truck is like a person arriving at the hospital in an ambulance. In that they would push all the other cars out of the way, STAT, because my car was so much more grieviously injured than theirs. But no. I had to wait my turn in line, just like all the other loser patients. However, 20 minutes and 600 shekel later, I drove out on a brand spanking new tire! It had gold wrapping, and a little piece stayed on. I'm keeping it there, to remind me of this special time.

The whole removal-and-replacement bit, with the electrical thingy (how I didn't make it as a mechanic, I'll never know) that pushes your car up reminded me uncomfortably of a gynecological exam and I felt bad for my poor car. Those tools can be cold.

2. The new apartment that is not yet mine. You could pollute an entire ecosystem with the amount of gas I use driving between my old apartment and my new apartment. This is because we are at the Price Quote stage of pre-moving in, and we require two Price Quotes per Thing. Things include, but are not limited to: Window bars, painting, alarm systems, shower doors, an alarm system for your shower door, shower bars on your alarm door, etc.
Which means meeting two different people per Thing. And none of the people I ever need to meet can come at the same time. So I drive over to get a Price Quote on a Thing, drive back, squeeze in some work and a load of laundry, and before you know it, it's time to drive back to get another Price Quote on another Thing.

3. Laundry and dishes and the dirt on my floor. I should just let them all win, since they seem to want to so badly.

So these things are keeing me very busy and not leaving much time for blogging. Which makes me sad, oh Loyal Readers. Plus--and you are never going to believe this one--despite the craziness of our lives right now, the children just go on needing things, like rides to chugim, baths, dinner, attention.

Well, hopefully this will end soon and we will get to move and our apartment will be beautiful, despite Yaakov not having his yellow-and-teal colored room.

On that note, I will end with a head-scratchingYaakov conversation:

Me: Did you play in the chatzer today? [This is a winter conversation. The chatzer is full of sand. During the sandal months, it doesn't matter because the sand slides right out. However, in the winter, it is crucial that we dump the copious amount of shoe sand into the garbage. Often I am surprised there was even room for his foot in the shoe.]

Yaakov: Why do you always ask that? Just ask me if there is sand in my shoes!

Next day:

Me: Yaakov, is there sand in your shoes?

Yaakov [expasperatedly]: I don't know! How should I know that?

Me [slow and confused]: Well...did you the...chatzer today?

It's a twisty world Yaakov lives in.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Aliyah on Purpose, Momz and DADZ Style

Because f/e asked so nicely, here is a picture from the big arrival moment at the airport last Wednesday. (No, they did not come on a Nefesh b'Nefesh flight, so we had to do all the singing ourselves!)

Unfortunately, the rest of my pictures are kind of blurry, which is apparently what happens when you try to take pictures as you're running around and jumping up and down.

But as this picture shows clearly, Ariella is veryveryveryveryveryvery happy to see her Bubby. In fact, we are all many-verys glad that Momz and DADZ are here to stay.

So for the past week Momz and DADZ have been doing a lot of running around, doing all those things new olim must do, like getting a teudat zehut, beginning step #1 of the never-ending license conversion process and exclaiming, "You call this a LARGE cup of coffee???"

Things have been going relatively smoothly, though DADZ, ever the Eeyore, is convinced it will all fall to pieces soon and they'll show up at the next misrad and the lady will screech, "We're closed today!" Or, "We're open but not for you!" Or, "Yes I know it says you can do that here but you can't actually! You'll need to visit our branch in Nahariyya! Which is only open on alternate Sundays between 7:00 and 7:23 AM, unless it's below 20 degrees (celsius, of course) in which case it's only opened on odd-numbered Tuesdays between 8:00 and 8:07! And remember you need to walk into the misrad backwards, singing Hava Nagila and wearing plaid!" Or, "What do you mean, you didn't bring your itemized list of underwear??? It needs to be signed by your rabbi and stamped by the bank!!"

So far, that has not happened. THANK GOD. But there's always tomorrow.

(However, there's the very tiny glitch that we were supposed to have moved in to our respective apartments already, but we haven't, and this is causing no small amount of stress and if you have a horror story about a kablan I do NOT want to hear it now. Thank you.)

To be continued...

Monday, January 2, 2012

I'm Still Here!

Loyal Readers, my humblest apologies.

Who knew that having the kids home all week for Chanukah, followed by substituting at a school for 4 days, combined with crazy last-minute apartment business, trying to find a gan for Nadav for next year, and getting ready for my parents' immiment aliyah (Wednesday) would be so time-consuming and leave so little time for blogging???!! Certainly not me.

I will return shortly with a much overdue post on all the goings-on of our lives, such as answering last-minute aliyah questions, ("Will we need gloves?"), discussing what exactly are Finn McMissile's (of Cars 2, the children's current obsession) 12 superpowers, (we're not sure who decided there were 12, but Yaakov will not rest until we can list every single one), and the results of Nadav's groundbreaking research into "Will this bowl of yogurt fit on my head?" (Short answer: Yes)

Stay tuned.