The blog that brought you "Lowering Your Standards Every Day" now brings you ...
A Parenting Award!
Qualifications: You must have a child.
To win: Is your child alive? Fed? (Clean is optional but definitely not required).
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU DESERVE A PARENTING AWARD!
The award is chocolate or candy (for you), directly from my Secret Candy Hiding Stash. (Where is that hiding place? I can't tell you but let's just say Mommy isn't reaching for the cleaning spray five times a day.) Come by any time to claim your prize.
No need to bring alive, non-hungry (despite what they claim) child for proof. I believe you.