1. Did you hear that? That is the sound of Yaakov breathing - sorry if it woke you up. (Luckily, Ariella sleeps right through it.) It's only this noisy when he's on his back. Since I have a well-worn copy of "The Care and Feeding of Rose Men," I know that the trick is to roll him from his back to his side. Voila! Silent breathing! (And yes, we briefly considered the whole extract-some-body-part route, but since the problem is so easily fixed, we're going with the while do-nothing route. Also, it doesn't bother him. Just us, when we're trying to watch Lost.)
2. Speaking of which, Lost is a repeat this week. Is there even a reason to get out of bed? Sigh. My alternate self and I are sorely disappointed. If you find us near an open well, just go ahead and push.
3. I made a spinach thingy for dinner, the very same spinach thingy I had been making approximately one year ago, during the famous traifin' up the kitchen Incident. I repeated my new mantra during the cooking: "Don't use the wrong spatula, don't use the wrong spatula, don't use the wrong spatula...." And it worked! I managed NOT to traif up the kitchen! Poofahs all around!
4. Ariella is FINALLY kochav nolad. Well, next week, but we've been working on the massive poster for 2 days already. She has been waiting for this ALL YEAR. Nay, all her life! Next Monday (because Sunday is a vacation day) we bring in the posterboard with the pictures. Let me just say, that Ariella's poster was done entirely on her own. No one can tell THIS girl what she CAN'T do! I taped the pictures on, but otherwise, she wrote the captions (all 20 of them), added the nekudot, wrote the header ("Ariella Kochav Nolad Hashavua!") and carefully went over everything in marker. Now, some people's posters (whose names I will not mention mainly because I do not know them) were clearly done by a parent. You know the type. I have to say, Ariella's diligence and my laziness made a very good combo here. The poster came out really nice, and definitely authentic.
Next Friday, Donny and I have to go in and run an activity with 32 little first grade __________. (insert your own colorful phrase here). Naturally, this will be done in Hebrew. We are planning on Pictionary, or Pencilnary as Ariella calls it. I already made up 32 cards, each with 3 Hebrew words, which I will have to vowelize after I print it. Hopefully it will be a resounding success. Hopefully the children will snicker quietly enough so as not to make me cry. Hopefully the baby will comply and stay on the inside for a little while longer.
5. Speaking of which, I am soliciting anti-inducing labor advice. I know, most women want to know how to get that baby out sooner rather than later, and it could be in 2.5 weeks I'll be one of them, but for now, we need Punja to stay right where it is. There is much to get done in the next two weeks. Most of it revolves around Ariella, actually. Kochav nolad next Friday. The Sunday after that (May 9), there's some sort of Chumash presentation in Jerusalem. Jerusalem! What, Modiin suddenly isn't good enough for Chumash? We're only good enough for the apocrypha, apparently.
Then, that Wednesday is her dance performance, the culmination of the dance chug she's been taking. Thursday is my last day of tutoring. That brings us to Friday, the actual due date. (In case you were needed stats, Ariella was a week late, Yaakov a week early. So hopefully Punja should be right on time.) So we need Punja to stay in the Hatch until at least Thursday afternoon.
7. I went to the doctor today. You may think that this is no big deal, that someone who is 37.5 weeks pregnant is at the doctor all the time. Well, you would be wrong.
Some of you have been asking me to blog about the differences between pre-natal care in the US vs Israel. Well, here's an example. I went to the doctor right after Pesach for an appointment. That was 4 weeks before my due date, the time when, in America, you are told to come in every week. My doctor? "So, if you haven't given birth by 38 weeks, come back. Bye!" Today marks "almost 38 weeks." So we went back. She said, "Okay, you don't need to come back here. Here's all your pregnancy information for the hospital. If you're late, here's a referral for the women's center where they'll do an ultrasound and fetal monitoring. Have a good labor! Bye!"
The nurses, though, are another story. I went this morning, for what feels like the 15,162,342nd time. I've been seeing them once a month, and since Pesach, once a week, for blood pressure, weight, and pee-in-a-cup. They are very interested in seeing me often. I guess they have an excess of cups.
8. Now to close, a poem by Donny:
Pregnant is pregnant, what can you do?
When you find all the Lost clues
Poofahs for you!