Friday, November 11, 2011

A Series of Crappy Events

Well, Loyal Readers, you may be wondering if I have abandoned you. Indeed not. For you are the Loyalest of Readers, and I appreciate your recent outpouring of support and sympathy for those of faced with the curse of the Uncleanable House.

This week has received the dubious award of the Crappity Week of Craptastic Crappiness in the Crap-istory of Craphood. Unfortunately, it is not yet funny, so the extended blog post will have to wait for a time when I can laugh rather than cry. Some high(?)lights:

1. Nadav's surgery (planned, but still), to remove a cyst near his eye, which involved two separate days at the hospital, one being a "Yom Kabbalah" during which we got yelled at by a nurse and waited in a crowded, windowless room for hours, and one being the actual day of the surgery, the morning of which I nearly got lost and ended up in east Jerusalem. Thank God the surgery went well. Actual time spent at hospital: 11 hours. Actual time in surgery: 30 minutes.

2. My pocketbook, and all contents therein, was either lost in or stolen from my apartment. Including, but not limited to: wallet, teudat zehut, license, credit/bank cards, cash, undeposited checks, Maccabi cards, various store cards, including Rami Levi, (and you just KNOW it's going to be a b*&#%ch to get them to grant me another one), an old (only sentimental, but still) picture of Donny and me when we were engaged, keys, including house, car keys for two different cars, machsan, building, mail and this cute little keychain device that you use for shopping carts instead of scrambling for a 5-shekel piece.

3. It turns out the convenient Misrad Hapnim in Modiin will not, in fact, issue a new teudat zehut if yours was stolen. That, naturally, requires a trip to a different city. Which I haven't been able to do, since I've been spending 11 hours at a hospital.

4. We are also having two seminary girls for Shabbat, which is not crappy at all, just the opposite, but I worried (earlier in the week, before my life took a dive to Craptown) that when you're in seminary, your Shabbat experiences are supposed to be "chavayot," where you see how people live in the Holy Land and learn all sorts of stuff and get inspired and all. I feel bad in advance that these lovely young ladies will be here, in Modiin, a city which I love but, let's face it, is kind of vanilla, in our less-than-inspirational house, filled not as much with kedusha and role models as it is with Legos and socks.

In the meantime, Loyal Readers, feel free to share stories about how you once lost something. If it could be worse than my story, that would be great. Thanks.


Daniela@Isreview said...

OH DEAR, I'm so sorry:(
I wish there was some way I could help you. Here's hoping things get better.
(thank god the surgery went well and is over.)

Anonymous said...

And how do you think Nadav feels about all of this - I think it's time for a "nadav's point of view" blog please. With pictures.

mother in israel said...

I second Momz. Glad the surgery went well.

Well, I'll let you be the judge of whether this is worse. When I was in seminary (I first wrote "cemetery") we were warned that our passports shouldn't stay in the dorms over Pesach. So I brought mine to a Trusted Relative (TR). TR put it away in such a safe place, they didn't find it for several years at which point they gave it to my parents, who were visiting at the time.
To replace the passport I had to file a police report and find a witness who had known me for enough time to swear that I was an American citizen. Being from out of town there were few candidates, so I had to ask a nerdy guy in a different yeshiva (sorry if you're reading this!). I happened to know some other guys in that yeshiva and they made fun of us, asking whether we were getting a marriage license. Anyway, it was very nice of him to spend half a day with me in East Jerusalem visiting the consulate. (And I didn't even mention the visit to the Misrad Hapnim to get a new visa.)

Anonymous said...

How's about this: went to Eilat (can't say with whom), he'd been heavily into crime (this is how I found out) before "making teshuva" (a relative term) and stupidly left his wallet bursting with 3K NIS on a table near the door of his sister's apartment. At 7am he stepped out to go to the car, leaving the front door ajar just barely. The Arab neighbor who shared the tiny entry-way was in luck and managed to spot the wallet. He swiped it, and when this "person" came back he was livid - mostly because he'd been a pro (apparently) of the quick swipe himself.
I spent the rest of that day locked in a 116* apartment with no airconditioning, trembling between two former crime siblings, smoking and whispering "Sheket! they're coming!" as they staked out the adjoining apartment waiting to catch the bad-guys. I was sure I would die in the pending shoot-out. They actually managed to convince the apt owner to let them in to ransack the place (TRUE STORY!), finding nothing, then continued to hide, plan their attack and smoke.
They finally gave up when the Arab guys half our ages came back with eight friends. Let's just say I don't associate with them folks anymore:).

Gila Rose said...

Wow, MII, that is quite a story. I'm not sure how Bad Things That Have Happened to Me are weighed, but you definitely get points for your age. It's superbad when you think you can put your faith in those grownup Trusted Relatives and they let you down, in such a big bad way.

Ruth, I cannot top that. You win.

f/e said...

wow what a crappy wk! hope nadav is recovering well.

my story involves someone who apparenly entered through the window in our apartment in jerusalem while we were sleeping and stole our wedding rings and my engagement ring and money and jewelery (my parents'). this was after our oldest was born and my parents came to israel for the brit, which was late bc baby was jaundiced, which entailed going to hospital ( a few consecutive days) at 7 in the morning,taking babies blood and waiting for results. anyway the thing is that it took us a few days to realize the things were stolen, i figured my mom mustve moved the rings and she figured i mustve moved her stuff. plus i was pissed of at my husband bc i had asked him to lock the soragim on the window and he laughed at me for being such a new yorker. so you got stolen items of value and sentiment, post birth hormomes and lack of sleep, visiting parents waiting for a baby to be unyellow, and blame.
oh and how about when all the present were stolen from a different sons brit?
anyway i hope things go smoother then you think replacing everything
if you want to feel better with hospital stories let me know (it involves neurosurgery on a 6 month old baby, coming to hospital early in morning with said baby fasting etc and being sent home (twice)
btw i wanted to comment on your last post, i have been trying to figure out the secret of the neighbors clean house for years.

SaraK said...

Stolen pocketbook really sucks. I feel for you.
OTOH, don't stress about the seminary girls. I am a big proponent of showing them real life in Israel. They get enough lofty ideas in class.

Baila said...

I once lost my baby brother. But he came back.

Gila Rose said...

Ok f/e, the story of the Jaundiced Newborn Hormonal Theft is definitely a winner. (Such as it is.) That is horrible! Any one of those things is enough to make me cry - new born baby, jaundiced baby (yes, those are two separate items), stolen stuff, brit preparations. I tip my crappy hat to you.

Baila - this sounds worthy of a blog post.

Sarah said...

I think it's a good think to show the seminary girls what life is really like, so they don't get unrealistic expectations and later be disappointed.

f/e said...

i hope youre not crying, the point was to make you feel better. said baby is not jaundiced anymore (but that reminds me of a great tipat chalav nurse story..) and is almost in his 3rd yr in the army. got new rings, and my husband has totaly lost the right to make fun of anyone for locking windows/doors etc. and my parents made aliya before my second was born so they didnt have to come in special and wait for a juandiced baby. so it all works out in the end. again hope things went much smoother then you dreaded.

Cheryl said...

My mom's purse got stolen from under her chair at a cafe on Ben Yehuda. This was back in the day when tickets were not electronic and my mom carried lots of cash. Our tickets home, passports and lots of cash were stolen. And then we had the pleasure of going to East J'lem for new US passports.