Let me tell you how things are really going down.
First off, Mommy is STILL bringing me to this "gan" place. Every. Single. Day. And she is STILL leaving me there. Doesn't she hear my heartbreaking little cries as she callously passes me off to a ganenet, like I'm just some sobbing sack of potatoes? (Do sacks of potatoes sob? Discuss.)
But it's okay, after a minute of crying, I get a cookie and then all is better. And to tell the truth, I have a pretty good day. First, they have waaaay better toys than at home. Example: At home, we have a few lame plastic animals. You've got your standard horse, sheep, alligator and space rocket. But at gan! The animals! There's a whole freakin' BUCKET of them! And the food - let me tell you, these ganenet types know their way around the kitchen. Such variety! At home, it's a lot of the same-old, same-old, from the food group known as Lazy. Gee, Mom, you know how to make both pancakes AND French toast? Someone get this lady a cooking blog! NOT!
So gan is all right, though I still don't understand why Mommy wants to bring me there instead of hanging out with me all day.
Anyway, she is still complaining that I do not talk enough. Again, I say: I completely understand everything I am saying. And yes, I call both Ariella and Yaakov "Lala." Is it MY fault the parental units chose to give them each different names? I didn't think so.
Although Mommy is impressed that I now understand directions. Sometimes it's "Throw that out," or "Bring me your shoes," or "Go find Ariella," (I'm never sure the purpose of this one. I think it's just to get me out of the room.) But mostly it's "Take that out of your mouth!" and "Don't swish your hands in the toilet!"
Sometimes, when I'm in my groove, having an especially good jam session of Pot Top Banging, Mommy will shout (she has to shout, see, 'cuz of the Pot Top Banging) "Please stoooopppppp!!!" Luckily, I just pretend I don't understand that one yet.
Also - weird - Daddy seems to be gone. One day he's here, next day, poof, nowhere in sight. Every so often, I hear his voice and I run, shrieking "Addy! Addy!" But then one of the Lalas just sticks the phone in my face and says, "Say hi to Daddy!" And I hear him, right? But I don't SEE him. This confuses me. How did he fit in the phone? And are there people hiding in all the phones? Maybe I should just lie down on Mommy for a while and suck my fingers while I ponder this.
I am Calvin’s mom
5 weeks ago