Recent signs point to my complete and total absorption into Israeli society.
1. Reported my first chefetz chashud (suspicious object). There was a suitcase, hanging out nonchalantly at the staircase to my building. Hands behind its back, casually whistling, acting all, "Hey, don't mind me, I'm just hanging out unsuspiciously at the staircase of this building." So like a good citizen, I called the city number (106) to report it. It was gone when I came back.
2. Went into meenoose on our bank account. New apartment + Pesach = #nomoneyleft
3. (New one I just remembered!) I find it difficult, when counting omer, to say שני שבועות. I really want to say שבועיים.
4. Yelled at some obnoxious children at the park. In Hebrew. Two of Ariella's classmates (I won't say which gender they were, but it's the one closely associated with cooties) were running around the park with water guns. When they saw Ariella, they decided it would be fun to chase her and shoot water at her. I stalked up to them, soaked daughter in tow. They were, naturally, refilling their guns at the water fountain. And when I asked where their parents were, they told me - surprise! - they were at the park by themselves. So I unleashed my full Israeli on them, yelling for a good 2.5 minutes, including my favorite Israeli parenting phrase, "Ani lo marsha!"
I actually think I made it through mistake-free. At least Ariella didn't correct me, mid-yell, and was pretty impressed afterward.
Speaking of Ariella, there are still signs that I have a long ways to go:
When I made yet another noun/adjective mix-up (masculine with feminine, or vice versa), she said to me, in exasperation, "Just use the "yafeh/yafah" trick. If you would say this word is "yafeh," then you use a zachar adjective. If you would say "yafah," then you use a nekevah adjective."
Um, yeah. But what's the trick to tell you if it's yafeh or yafah?????
The granola of my discontent
1 day ago