Questions:
1. After Momz and DADZ make aliyah, with whom shall I chat in the middle of the night when I am up with sinus pain or other middle-of-the-night ailments? (Including, but not limited to, strep throat and sick children.) Although, it's more Momz than DADZ that does the chatting. DADZ is usually telling Momz to get off the phone so they can watch one of their many television shows on CABLE, yes the same CABLE that we were not allowed to have growing up, and yes I'm still bitter about this. To Dadz, I say colon + capital P.
(This is a private joke between me and DADZ. He is emoticonally-challenged.)
2. Why, when bad things happen to the Jewish people, it's all, "We are such sinners! We must fast and pray!" but when good things happen, not once do you hear, "We are a nation of righteous do-gooders! Let us proclaim this a day of feasting and rejoicing in the streets!"?
3. That's all I've got for now. Said cold and sinus pain has wiped out most of my brain cells. It's amazing I'm even able to type thislcnaoitehoh 3*&(*U#FJSI*(fhdkU^&%U.
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20 comments:
Gila, first of all, feel better. Wait, sorry, refuah shelema. Feel free to call me in the middle of the night ISRAEL TIME when Momz and Dadz make Aliya and you need to kvetch. I'll try to pretend to understand about the diseased sticks (see it pays to be loyal reader) and sympathize about all the hoops you must jump through, but I guess by now all that is second nature to you.
Purim is a day like what you described in #2. Although I think in Israel it's more like two weeks, right? It's almost time to buy your durable costumes and duct tape now, right? (Again, my loyal readership paid off.) Just a thought for another blog topic-every year I wonder how ironic it is that a day filled with sending friends lots of food is followed just a month later by a holiday by which one must get rid of said food. I guess the only solution is to send Kosher for Passover treats in Misholach Manot. (Just make sure they're "kasher l'lo ochlay kitniyot.")
You? Need coffee. And possibly antibiotics. Do you want me to steal Taxman's augmentin? (He's feeling better; he won't miss it.)
It's not bad for your parents to be emoticonally challenged. The first time my mom used shorthand over IM I got the heebie jeebies.
TIRED,
IN DEFENSE OF MOMZ, IT'S ONLY DADZ WHO IS "EMOTICONALLY" CHALLENGED.
RISA,
YOU DESERVE MANY, MANY "POOFAH'S" AS AN EXTERMELY LOYAL AND KNOWLEDGABLE READER.
GILA,
IN LIGHT OF THE VERY PUBLIC "MAKING FUN OF DADZ", YOU MAY NEVER, EVER CALL ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
Not only am I not emoticonally challenged, I actually know (very well) the man who created the first one ever back in the 80s.
I stand corrected--many apologies to Momz.
Thanks Risa. You are truly a Loyal Reader in the most capital-est sense of the word.
Tired - how about coffee AND medicine WHILE I'm in bed??? That sounds just about perfect.
DADZ - I'M SURE GOING TO MISS THOSE MIDDLE-OF-THE-NIGHT HEART-TO-HEARTS. :)
Momz - you know very well? Hmm....sounds like an interesting story....care to share?
gila i hope you are feeling better. risa you are raising the bar of LOYAL READER so high that i dont know if anyone can even compete (momz and dadz are related so they are barred from entering the competition).
rejoicing in the streets when it is windy and rainy is just not that apppealing (unless you are 4 and have boots and an umbrella). but i will share one of my father's favorite jokes - why dont jews drink? bc then they would be happy.
hope the sunshine is doing you good (btw question to aba - why is the weather here so extreme?)
Gila and Dadz, Thanks for the shout out and the extra poofahs. I very recently spoke to someone else who lives in Israel and she said that the whether went from hot and sunny to cold and rainy almost overnight. It seems that Israel has two seasons: hot/sunny and cold/rainy. (Wait. Where have I heard that one before?) It also seems that the duration of every holiday is doubled, tripled or quadrupled.(But that's not always a bad thing, right?)I wonder with two Adars this year if Purim will be even longer. Keep us posted, Gila!
f/e - fret not, we at ABA applaud Loyal Readers of all shapes and sizes and memory capacity.
And I think the extreme weather is because God enjoys reading everyone's facebook statuses re: the extreme weather.
Re Mr. Emoticon, or rather Dr. Emoticon, it is a very boring story, sorry Gils. And Gils, my promise to you and Leezy is that, after our aliyah (please the lord maybe sooner than expected, may shapir build quickly and speedily in our day), I will be there for you whenever you need me. Gotta make up for lost time after working full time when you were teenagers. Never too late to start being a good Momz!
Oh nooo, evil sinus concrete of DOOM is horrible misery-inducing stuff and you have so much sympathy from me. The only thing worse is a migraine, which funnily enough, is often a result of evil sinus concrete.
Momz,
Just curious. Will you have cable when you move to Israel? And will you allow Gila to watch it so she can finally get over her very deprived childhood without it?
BTW, if you plan on NOT having cable here, your klitah will be very, very difficult. Just sayin'.
Hi,Baila - of course we will have cable, and all are welcome to partake. There are so many things we are using our middle age to make up for, we sometime lose count.
By the way, we are now officially addicted to cable, so Baila you and yours can come over too. plenty of room!
I sympathize with your sinus misery Gila and hope you're feeling better! Maybe OTE came over with coffee and meds while you rested?
My parents didn't get cable until I was out of the house either.
TO ALL L.R.'S -
YOU ARE ALL MORE THAN WELCOME TO COME OVER AND USE OUR WIDESCREEN TV WITH ITS CABLE HOOK-UP.
TO GILA:
YOU ARE NOT AN L.R. - YOU ARE THE BLOGGER!
AS SUCH THE ABOVE INVITATION DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU.
AS THEY SAY: "CABLE IS C---".
dadz, while i appreciate your offer, as a loyal reader i feel obligated to boycott your very generous invitation to a chanukat habayit/ aliya/ cable party as long as gila is not invited. (i think i just earned a capital letter in my loyal reader status, i choose o)
Dear Loyal Readers:
DADZ is a wonderful, caring, and warm human being, really he is. The thing that is missing from online comments is the look on his face when he says these things - it is priceless. He amuses himself no end, and yes I still laugh at his jokes after 36.5 years (but who's counting?).
So I hope you all come over (and Gila is invited as the Blogger Extraordinaire) and watch cable with us, which is indeed, as DADZ now can attest, not c*(&.
thanks f/e, our first LOyal Reader!
One thing doesn't have to do with another. We don't need to proclaim anything - we just need to keep our noses to the grind and DO. What filters back to us is the doing. It's like this - make a soup - strain it - what is strained will be what we eat but it's not that soup that we just strained - but the residue of soup that we made a year ago - or ten - or twenty - even 40 years ago - who is to say? To stand there with a megaphone and announce our great culinary skills is probably the WORST thing to be doing - as it takes away brownie points for the next soup. Moral - just do - don't ask for ego-strokes and if we get an extra portion - just be grateful in silent prayer or some kind of jubilation that doesn't involve spotlights and fanfare.
I think I get to claim the most deprived childhood - my parents waited until I left home before they got a COLOUR TV! (Yes, I am British and no I'm not THAT old)
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