Well, if you're wondering why the Roses have been walking around looking morose, it's because I just found out today that with the arrival of Nadav, our "harmonious family life" ranking plummeted from #2 to #8 (on a scale of 1-12).
That's right. According to a study conducted by Researchers, the second-happiest family type is one boy and one girl. Yaakov prevented us from reaching true nirvana by being male, as the ideal Happy Family has two girls.
And Loyal Readers, it could only get worse. At this point, additional children will send us spiraling ever downward. Another boy kicks us to #9. And a girl? Two boys and two girls place us at number eleven! Second to last! Only four girls would be worst!
Loyal Readers, I am glad I found out this information, because until today, I was mistakenly going through life thinking that girl+boy+boy was not too bad.
Also, I learned other useful stuff. Did you know that parents of 4 girls have to deal with things that are nowhere near the horizon of us parents-of-other-combos? Apparently, with four girls, "Bedtime routine is a nightmare." Definitely can't relate, here it's all rainbows and smiles and the occasional happy dance. Or, "Four girls create a lot of noise around the house." Nope, here it's perfectly quiet.
Wait a minute. It IS perfectly quiet. That means children are off somewhere performing Illegal Activities. This could be anything from "Rearranging the entire contents of our room" to "Fun with Toilets." Excuse me. I'll be right back.
Also, with four girls, it seems parents "Need a bigger car and house." Because parents of four boys just stuff them into the back of a sedan and sleep them head-to-toe on a cot.
So all in all, a very informative read. But Loyal Readers, fret not. Despite our less-than-optimal gender combo, we will sally forth. Congrats to all you high-rankers for keepin' it happy. And to your poor folks below even us, I say, Stay Strong!
The granola of my discontent
1 month ago