Tuesday, January 24, 2012

An Un-Ideal Family

Well, if you're wondering why the Roses have been walking around looking morose, it's because I just found out today that with the arrival of Nadav, our "harmonious family life" ranking plummeted from #2 to #8 (on a scale of 1-12).

That's right. According to a study conducted by Researchers, the second-happiest family type is one boy and one girl. Yaakov prevented us from reaching true nirvana by being male, as the ideal Happy Family has two girls.

And Loyal Readers, it could only get worse. At this point, additional children will send us spiraling ever downward. Another boy kicks us to #9. And a girl? Two boys and two girls place us at number eleven! Second to last! Only four girls would be worst!

Loyal Readers, I am glad I found out this information, because until today, I was mistakenly going through life thinking that girl+boy+boy was not too bad.

Also, I learned other useful stuff. Did you know that parents of 4 girls have to deal with things that are nowhere near the horizon of us parents-of-other-combos? Apparently, with four girls, "Bedtime routine is a nightmare." Definitely can't relate, here it's all rainbows and smiles and the occasional happy dance. Or, "Four girls create a lot of noise around the house." Nope, here it's perfectly quiet.

Wait a minute. It IS perfectly quiet. That means children are off somewhere performing Illegal Activities. This could be anything from "Rearranging the entire contents of our room" to "Fun with Toilets." Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Also, with four girls, it seems parents "Need a bigger car and house." Because parents of four boys just stuff them into the back of a sedan and sleep them head-to-toe on a cot.

So all in all, a very informative read. But Loyal Readers, fret not. Despite our less-than-optimal gender combo, we will sally forth. Congrats to all you high-rankers for keepin' it happy. And to your poor folks below even us, I say, Stay Strong!


SaraK said...

No WONDER my family was so unhappy - we had 2 girls and 2 boys! NOW I know.


Hogwash. WE have the ideal family - those other people just have the wrong KIDS.

Eliana and Michael said...

Hello Gila. Don't want to hijack your blog but my husband and I are taking our pilot trip in a couple of weeks and one of the cities we are checking out is Modi'in. I have really enjoyed reading your blog and your humor is so spot on that I feel as if I know you. So, of course just wondering if you have any tips/thoughts/recommendations for our trip. We will be bringing a fourth grader, second grader, and nursery school baby (Ariella actually) when we make aliyah this summer.

Thanks so much.

Gila Rose said...

Eliana - feel free to email me at gila STRUDEL gilaanddonny NEKUDAH com.

SaraK - isn't nice to have something to blame everything on?


OneTiredEma said...

Um, if Eliana isn't here yet she might confuse STRUDEL for the MAAFE variety instead of the AT that it is.

Hijack: Does anyone know how or why the it got the name STRUDEL? And also: there is no way that is the actual name, right? It's got to be slang...with a real name hiding somewhere in the files of the Hebrew Language Academy or something.

JerusalemStoned said...

Mmmmm...strudel. No wait, I had something to say about your post. Oh yes. Fun With Toilets! LMTuchisO! My baby did that today,and also found the toilet cleaner, and now we are having Fun With Bleach Stains.

Kathleen said...

Apparently we have the "un-ideal family" as well. I would've never known.
I had to laugh at part about the silence and wondering what illegal activities the kids were up to. Same with "fun with toilets"...silence must always be investigated in my house. I've learned the hard way not to put it off, especially as it may involve fun with toilets by the youngest child.

Isobel said...

During my first week here, I thought I'd got this @ thing worked out and told the very sweet lady in the bank that my email address was xxxxx SHNITZEL gmail dot com

She tried SO hard not to laugh, bless her!

miriamp said...

Ah, so with SEVEN girls (and 3 boys) I just have no chance of happiness whatsoever? Oops, guess I'd better work harder at that making my kids' lives a living hell thing.