So, kids, it's time for me to let you in on another secret. You know how you get really sad when the TV show is over? And you beg Mommy to let you watch justonemore???
Well, I'll tell you something: Mommy is sad too! Mommy realllly wants to let you watch another one. Because when you are sitting quietly in the front of the TV, absorbing the critical life lessons Power Rangers has to offer (the importance of an aesthetically pleasing mask? Never leave home without your Zord?), you aren't fighting, talking back, spilling something, fighting or talking back. That show starts, you are quiet, and the lack of hanging-on-us-ness allows us to commence important evening-time activities, such as sweeping up the bits of Nature Valley granola bar that you ever so cleverly spilled all over the floor. (Except for the bits that you wedged into your sandals while you were wearing them. Obviously not those.)
We have to move quickly during TV time, faster than the mad dash of a kid who heard from the other room that a sibling might be touching something of theirs. So there we are, frantically cleaning up from dinner, making lunches, cleaning up from breakfast, throwing out moldy tik fruit and, of course, checking Facebook. Then we hear the dreaded end-of-show jingle, one of the saddest known sounds for Mommykind. And we have to fortify ourselves to say no, not to give in to the seductive idea of hours and hours in front of the television, because, sigh, we should give you food and possibly even attention. And we all know that too much TV will turn you into law-breaking drains on society who never brush their teeth. (Note: productive non-criminals with clean teeth = my parenting goals.)
However, erev Shabbat or chag? Brain-rot away, kids. See you when it's bath time.
(In another news: I'm thinking of developing a new line of baby books, with the really important milestones. You know, first curse/bad word ("shuddup" or, my favorite Israeli one, "sheeeet"), first poop in the tub, etc. Suggestions?)
The granola of my discontent
1 month ago