A Bedtime Story

We will begin today with a little bedtime story, because here, at least, it is bedtime and therefore appropriate. It was written by Ariella.

** Public service announcement: This story contains some violence and may not be appropriate for readers who frighten easily or suffer from aquaphobia. **

First, I will transcribe the story in k'tav Ariella, to be followed by a translation, for those not well-versed in this particular dialect:

Hit The Car
by Ariella
SHE WAS NOT OKE. THA WOR HAPY. THA WOR GNW FALL iN THE WTR. A BIG BIG PRSIN WEt iN THE WTR. IN THE WTR WET THE LITTLE GORL.
(She was not ok. They were happy. They were going to fall in the water. A big big person went in the water. In the water went the little girl. The end.)

Now, don't say I didn't warn you. When Ariella told me the outline of the story, I asked her if the girl was going to be okay. She gleefully responded, "No! She's not going to be okay! Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" That's my delicate princess for you.

In other Ariella news....we were discussing long and short vowels today, during our private English chug, and I was explaining how the "e" in "cane" turns the word "can" into the word "cane." Like a candy cane, I explained helpfully. Ariella's eyes brightened, "Oh, like how you say the word 'ken' in Hebrew? Like that?" Yes, I muttered, exactly. So we have reached the point in our aliyah, after only a few short months, where Ariella corrects our pronounciation. Donny can't roll his "r's" to save his life; he sounds like he's swallowing a dying fish. I can sort of do it, but Ariella says it's not really good enough, so I don't bother. It's just one more thing that'll embarrass Ariella in a few years (or months....).

Yesterday we had five of Ariella's friends from gan for the "Chaver Nechmad" program. I must say we pulled it off with panache. Everyone showed up on time (and, more importantly, left on time.) I read Ariella's favorite Aleph-Bet book (Australian Leezy - I believe you purchased this for her many many moons ago, so we thank you and say, "Tizki l'mitzvot ul'ma'asim tovim.") Each page has a letter, with words and pictures of things that start with that letter, and the kids had fun pointing out what they saw and trying to figure out the pictures. After that, each kid got a piece of paper. They picked a letter, and then using some seriously awesome art supplies, decorated their paper with their letter and pictures of items that start with the letter. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to say "sequins," "pipe cleaners" and "pom-poms" in Hebrew, so I just grabbed handfuls of the stuff and said cheerfully, "Kazeh!" The timing worked out well - they finished the project, I cleaned off the table, and then served dinner. Noodles, with ketchup and cottage cheese on the side, can't go wrong there. After dinner, the kids amused themselves with our games and toys until the parents came. All in all, they were very sweet, well-behaved kids and Ariella had a super-terrific-awesome time. Aside from occasionally referring to the boys in the feminine and vice versa, I think my Hebrew sufficed for the evening.

Poll results: Keep an eye out for an upcoming blog, "An Anecdotal About Jonathan." It was a close race, but at the last second, the tie was broken. I won't say who broke it. Ok, I will. It was Donny. I will get started after I retrieve my good-old anecdotal euphamisms from the Anecdotal Compartment in my brain, which is starting to rust from disuse, to which I say, thank God. ("Benefits from reminders to hand in his homework without being asked, focus on his classwork, not write on the other students with his highlighter, and get his damn finger out of his nose.")

Some responses to the comments, which, thanks to the Loyal Readers, have been many and varied this time:
Momz: I am sending you immediately to Nivim Remediation. Please contact Mrs. Steinhart for further details.
Arnie: Thank you for your post and your contributions. I will seriously consider calling my "microwave" a "pitzkeleh-gal." It's catchy, I think.
Yael: There is a reason we are already set for next year - it's because the dati options in our area of Modi'in are very few. There's one dati bet sefer for Ariella, and two dati ganim for Yaakov's age. So our choices were pretty much made for us before we even started looking. It's better this way. Too many choices, my little brain starts to get overwhelmed and then I have no more room for the nivm in there, and we know what a tragedy THAT would be. I might start saying things like, "Tovim ha'shamayim min ha'echad."
Sara: Where we will be next year is still up in the air, but since the school system is a public school system, it's based on your neighborhood and you can only register for a school/gan in the neighborhood to which you belong. So for now, we are registering here, in our neighborhood, regardless of what the future might hold.

"Tsk tsk" to Donny: You are about to be undeputized from your post as Minister of Polls! It is embarrassing for the staff of aliyahbyaccident that there has not been a new poll put up all week! So get your nose out of your "work" or "layning" and do something useful with your time!