Well, it's been a little longer than usual since my last post. That's because I was attacked by a migraine, but have no fear, after a day and a half I dealt it a final death blow of medication, and it fled. For now. (Ahava suggested cutting out sugar. Easier to just cut off my head and be done with it.)
Some exciting Loyal Reader News:
I met a Loyal Reader on Shabbat! Now, some of my Loyal Readers I see quite frequently, so forgive me if I do not mention it each and every time. But this was something new. This was a heretofore unbeknownst (to me; probably knownst to lots of other people, though) Reader, Richard "The Samsonite" Weider. He davened at our shul on Shabbat, and Donny introduced us after shul. And I had the opportunity to greet someone with, "Oh of course! You're a Loyal Reader!" It was a special moment. Probably more for me than for him, but never mind that.
In other Reader news, I found out recently that aliyahbyaccident has been doing some actual good in the world (aside from making you all feel like good parents in comparison). Amy W., from Riverdale - her friends call her "Dubya" - just had a new baby. Mazel tov, mazel tov! During that last month of pregnancy, when the baby, with that wicked sense of humor inherent to all little tikes ("Don't spit up now....not yet...she hasn't changed into a new shirt...okay, ready, aim...BLEARGHHHH." [Evil baby cackle. It's the first thing they learn to do, before smiling or laughing. We just can't hear it.] Or, when they get a little older, "Okay, she bought me that toy now. The one I played with at my aunt's house for hours on end, and couldn't bear to part with, so that Mommy had to wrench my pudgy little fingers from it one by one, and I screamed and kicked and we were both sweating and crying by the end of it. Now it's in my possession. Heheh. I will proceed to stare at it blankly, turn around, and chew on a marker.") What was I saying? Oh yes. Wicked sense of humor. So this baby was keeping poor Dubya up all night, before it was even born! (Did you hear that? I think that was a cackle.) So what does a poor pregnant lady do when it's the middle of the night and there aren't even bad reruns on? She reads aliyahbyaccident to help pass the time! Dubya, we here at aliyahbyaccident are proud and honored that you chose us over "Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo." Come join us in the Loyal Readers' Club! We'd be happy to have you with us.
In other exciting news, we took the kids to a park on Friday. No, wait, it gets better. At this park, right behind the seesaw, were cows. Like, 3 dozen of them. I am being very serious. As serious as a horde of tarantulas stowing away in crates of coffee beans. There was this huge, fenced off area, behind which were....cows. The kids even got to see a mommy cow nursing its calf. Also LOTS of poop. I have no idea what these cows were doing there. There didn't seem to be anyone in charge - aside from the cows - and they were all just sitting there, cow-like, chewing stuff and flicking their tails. They did seem pretty contented, to tell you the truth. I'm not sure what to make of it, but there you have it. Cows.
The T-Shirt Paradox
1 week ago