Well, there is much to report about the last few days. But I am tired now, and anyway, we are going to watch LOST - before many of you Americans can watch LOST. Hahahahah!!
So check back tomorrow and find out how the Roses Got Locked In a Dairy Farm.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Of Pastry Dough and Eggs
And so, here we are, erev Pesach. Alright, it took me slightly longer than 18 minutes to clean and get ready for this holiday. A oversight I plan to remedy for next year, to be sure. Some highlights of the past week in Roseland:
1. We went on our shul's annual Shabbat HaGadol Retreat. It was held in a youth hostel in Yerucham, otherwise known as The Pastry Dough Capital of the World. We feasted on potatoes wrapped in pastry dough, cheese wrapped in pastry dough, soy dogs wrapped in pastry dough, and even pastry dough wrapped in pastry dough.
The highlight, at least for the kiddies, were the awesome bunkbeds in our room. Kids on top, grownups on bottom. By the end of Shabbat, Yaakov was climbing up and down like a pro. (Well, sort of.) The kids had all their friends there, and Ariella spent Shabbat either hopscotching or playing "goomi" - aka Chinese jumprope - and Yaakov, as to be expected, spent much time engaged in "shtuyot" with his friend Eitan. We all had a really nice time, though I'm not terribly broken up over not being able to eat borekas for the next week.
2. We found an untoothpicked folding chair on Friday. This nearly reduced me to tears. (I guess this is more of a lowlight.) You see, I had already crossed folding chairs off my to do list! What was I going to do - uncross it off???? Never! I'd rather burn it. Luckily, Donny stepped in and cleaned it this morning.
Well, I had many more thoughts earlier in the day, but as we ebb closer and closer to the holiday, they have flown out of my head, to be replaced by images of matzah meal and eggs. I bought lots of eggs this year. Lots. How many? Let's just say we could egg you all into oblivion and still have enough left for cooking all of the various matzah-meal-and-egg delicacies we will be consuming over the next week. Matzah meal and eggs...fried! Matzah meal and eggs...boiled! Matzah meal and eggs....baked! When the kids called the Pesach rolls "matzah balls" I started to correct them, but just gave up. They're not wrong.
Anyway, I should get back to the pyramids.
Wishing all of our loyal readers a chag full of kashrut and simchah. And, of course, eggs.
1. We went on our shul's annual Shabbat HaGadol Retreat. It was held in a youth hostel in Yerucham, otherwise known as The Pastry Dough Capital of the World. We feasted on potatoes wrapped in pastry dough, cheese wrapped in pastry dough, soy dogs wrapped in pastry dough, and even pastry dough wrapped in pastry dough.
The highlight, at least for the kiddies, were the awesome bunkbeds in our room. Kids on top, grownups on bottom. By the end of Shabbat, Yaakov was climbing up and down like a pro. (Well, sort of.) The kids had all their friends there, and Ariella spent Shabbat either hopscotching or playing "goomi" - aka Chinese jumprope - and Yaakov, as to be expected, spent much time engaged in "shtuyot" with his friend Eitan. We all had a really nice time, though I'm not terribly broken up over not being able to eat borekas for the next week.
2. We found an untoothpicked folding chair on Friday. This nearly reduced me to tears. (I guess this is more of a lowlight.) You see, I had already crossed folding chairs off my to do list! What was I going to do - uncross it off???? Never! I'd rather burn it. Luckily, Donny stepped in and cleaned it this morning.
Well, I had many more thoughts earlier in the day, but as we ebb closer and closer to the holiday, they have flown out of my head, to be replaced by images of matzah meal and eggs. I bought lots of eggs this year. Lots. How many? Let's just say we could egg you all into oblivion and still have enough left for cooking all of the various matzah-meal-and-egg delicacies we will be consuming over the next week. Matzah meal and eggs...fried! Matzah meal and eggs...boiled! Matzah meal and eggs....baked! When the kids called the Pesach rolls "matzah balls" I started to correct them, but just gave up. They're not wrong.
Anyway, I should get back to the pyramids.
Wishing all of our loyal readers a chag full of kashrut and simchah. And, of course, eggs.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
18 Minutes or Your Pesach is FREE!
So there I was, toothpick-cleaning my folding chairs, just as surely as Tzipporah, wife of Moshe, did, lo, these many years ago. This, I realize, is the real reason the Jews did not have time to properly let their dough rise - they were too busy cleaning their cabinets, high chairs, couches, and, of course, toothpicking their chairs.
"Time to leave!" announces Moshe.
"But Moshe," complain the People, "I have to let this cleaning solution sit for 2-3 minutes on the stovetop before I can properly scrub it!"
"Oh," says Moshe, "you're right, we can't leave yet. Just as long as we get out of here before the dough rises, 'k?"
"Dough? Rising? Who has gotten around to cooking yet? We haven't even touched the pantry!"
Anyway, when discussing with LISA the irony of how a holiday which is based primarily on speed now takes us endless hours to prepare for, we came up with a brilliant idea.
Are you ready?
The Eighteen Minute Clean!
Clean whatever you can in 18 minutes or less! Make sure not to go over by even a minute! Good idea, right? Let me guess - you're already implementing it in your house, right now. Good for you, I say!
Well, as for me, I guess I should get back to the kitchen now. Or, rather, the Shrine to Paper Towels. Only 14 minutes left!
"Time to leave!" announces Moshe.
"But Moshe," complain the People, "I have to let this cleaning solution sit for 2-3 minutes on the stovetop before I can properly scrub it!"
"Oh," says Moshe, "you're right, we can't leave yet. Just as long as we get out of here before the dough rises, 'k?"
"Dough? Rising? Who has gotten around to cooking yet? We haven't even touched the pantry!"
Anyway, when discussing with LISA the irony of how a holiday which is based primarily on speed now takes us endless hours to prepare for, we came up with a brilliant idea.
Are you ready?
The Eighteen Minute Clean!
Clean whatever you can in 18 minutes or less! Make sure not to go over by even a minute! Good idea, right? Let me guess - you're already implementing it in your house, right now. Good for you, I say!
Well, as for me, I guess I should get back to the kitchen now. Or, rather, the Shrine to Paper Towels. Only 14 minutes left!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Bye Bye Big Time
Thank you to everyone who commented and expressed excitement about our impending TV debut. In the process, we also unearthed some new commenters/Loyal Readers: Handmade, a fellow Modiinite; Lisa, "long-time reader, first time commenter;" and Esther, who has been secretly following for months, but now publicly declared her Loyalty. So welcome and enjoy your cashew-covered chocolate matzah delight!
Sadly, it seems our 15 minutes are over before they even started. As I suspected, the producers weren't interested in doing a show based around The Rose's Pile of Rubble. But they are looking for people in Israel who have bought property that actually live in said property. So if YOU are interested in becoming a House Hunter International, you can get in touch with Kristen at kristen NEKUDAH lombardo STRUDEL leopardfilms NEKUDAH com. Be sure to tell her aliyahbyaccident sent you!
In other news, Donny has arrived back at the homestead with presents galore. Everyone got something they wanted: Ariella received her very own hopscotch mat, Yaakov got his very own Leapster, and I did not have to take out the garbage last night.
Meanwhile, Yaakov continues to impress us with his Pesach knowledge. He knows all about the ten makkot, Kriat Yam Suf, and seder rituals. In fact, he's come up with some cool traditions of his own. We were looking through a haggadah and I asked him what we break during "yachatz." He correctly responded "matzah." Wow, I thought, let's try another one.
"And karpas? We dip the vegetables in water, right? And what do we put in the water? Lots and lots of....?"
"Cheese," he promptly responded.
So if you're looking for a truly different kind of night, Yaakov is your guide!
Sadly, it seems our 15 minutes are over before they even started. As I suspected, the producers weren't interested in doing a show based around The Rose's Pile of Rubble. But they are looking for people in Israel who have bought property that actually live in said property. So if YOU are interested in becoming a House Hunter International, you can get in touch with Kristen at kristen NEKUDAH lombardo STRUDEL leopardfilms NEKUDAH com. Be sure to tell her aliyahbyaccident sent you!
In other news, Donny has arrived back at the homestead with presents galore. Everyone got something they wanted: Ariella received her very own hopscotch mat, Yaakov got his very own Leapster, and I did not have to take out the garbage last night.
Meanwhile, Yaakov continues to impress us with his Pesach knowledge. He knows all about the ten makkot, Kriat Yam Suf, and seder rituals. In fact, he's come up with some cool traditions of his own. We were looking through a haggadah and I asked him what we break during "yachatz." He correctly responded "matzah." Wow, I thought, let's try another one.
"And karpas? We dip the vegetables in water, right? And what do we put in the water? Lots and lots of....?"
"Cheese," he promptly responded.
So if you're looking for a truly different kind of night, Yaakov is your guide!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Aliyahbyaccident Hits the Big Time
Before I share our very exciting news with you, I would like to note that we now have SIXTY-ONE Loyal Readers! Congratulations to us! I admit that I have been remiss in welcoming our new Loyal Readers, so if you recently joined and have not been properly welcomed, please leave a comment below. Our custom-made chocolate covered matza, festively decorated with "aliyahbyaccident" spelled out in cashews, will be heading your way!
Now, you may remember some time ago (I think it was Monday), I was feeling slightly insulted that aliyahbyaccident had not been invited to speak at the Bloggy Booty Camp, or whatever it was called. But since then, something has happened which will blow you out of the salty karpas water.
I know you're probably thinking that the big excitement is "aliyabyaccident and ontiredema do kiryat sefer," in which I regale you with fascinating tidbits about our trip to Shefa Shuk, where we performed the Ashkenazi Kitniot Squint and spent lots of money on food and other Pesach items. But as exciting as that was, what I'm about to tell you will make you turn off your vacuum cleaner, put down the Windex, and forget that little Shmueli is running around your newly cleaned bedroom, crushing graham cracker crumbs with gleeful abandon into your pillows and behind your dresser.
Kristen, who is a casting honcho at HHI, came across this blog and thought we might be a good family to highlight for their show. And this is even without knowing about my striking good looks and winning smile! Can you imagine???? I immediately called my mother, who is a HH devotee. I can safely say that nothing I have accomplished thus far in my life - good grades, college degrees, jobs, marriage, kids - has made her quite this proud. She was practically in tears. "I'm just s-s-s-s-so h-h-h-h-appy," she sniffed.
The downside, though, is because our apartment is not going to be ready until November 2011, it puts us at a slight disadvantage. See, the final segment of the show is the "big reveal," where they show the family living happily in their new digs. And they're not so into the "big reveal" revealing Donny and me and the kids standing next to a big rubble heap, slowly sinking into the wet cement while happily waving our floor tiles (light gray, in case you were wondering.)
In any case, Kristen asked me some more information about our family and said she would see if our story could be told. So this is obviously very exciting, and I will of course keep all 61 of you informed as the story continues to break.
Now, you may remember some time ago (I think it was Monday), I was feeling slightly insulted that aliyahbyaccident had not been invited to speak at the Bloggy Booty Camp, or whatever it was called. But since then, something has happened which will blow you out of the salty karpas water.
I know you're probably thinking that the big excitement is "aliyabyaccident and ontiredema do kiryat sefer," in which I regale you with fascinating tidbits about our trip to Shefa Shuk, where we performed the Ashkenazi Kitniot Squint and spent lots of money on food and other Pesach items. But as exciting as that was, what I'm about to tell you will make you turn off your vacuum cleaner, put down the Windex, and forget that little Shmueli is running around your newly cleaned bedroom, crushing graham cracker crumbs with gleeful abandon into your pillows and behind your dresser.
And no, the big excitement is also not Dadz re-figuring out how to leave a comment. (You can read his pithy words here.) Not that it's not exhilirating and reinvigorating and rehabilitating as well. But no, even bigger than that.
Without further ado.....I received a comment on the blog from my friend Kristen, who works on this little show you might have heard of: House Hunters International. That's right. Bloggy Boot Camps are soooo small fry. Aliyahbyaccident is headed for the Big Time!
Kristen, who is a casting honcho at HHI, came across this blog and thought we might be a good family to highlight for their show. And this is even without knowing about my striking good looks and winning smile! Can you imagine???? I immediately called my mother, who is a HH devotee. I can safely say that nothing I have accomplished thus far in my life - good grades, college degrees, jobs, marriage, kids - has made her quite this proud. She was practically in tears. "I'm just s-s-s-s-so h-h-h-h-appy," she sniffed.
The downside, though, is because our apartment is not going to be ready until November 2011, it puts us at a slight disadvantage. See, the final segment of the show is the "big reveal," where they show the family living happily in their new digs. And they're not so into the "big reveal" revealing Donny and me and the kids standing next to a big rubble heap, slowly sinking into the wet cement while happily waving our floor tiles (light gray, in case you were wondering.)
In any case, Kristen asked me some more information about our family and said she would see if our story could be told. So this is obviously very exciting, and I will of course keep all 61 of you informed as the story continues to break.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I Didn't Even WANT to Be Invited
A big thank you to Sharon "Riverdale Forever!" S. for sending me this link, about a Bloggy Boot Camp for mom bloggers. Now, I have to say, I was slightly insulted that aliyahbyaccident was not asked to headline, keynote, provide musical entertainment, or even participate. I mean, we have nearly SIXTY loyal readers, and we are up to thousands of visitors, mainly because Cheryl (used to) press the refresh key a million times a day to see if there was a new post so she wouldn't have to work. But still. Aliyahbyaccident, in a certain, very small, very specific niche, consisting mainly of my family members, is like HUGE. So I'm a little miffed. I mean, okay, I don't know much about "monetizing" or "generating ad revenue," but today, I was up to my 9th coffee at Cafe 443 so it was free, and that definitely generated some revenue for me.
And okay, I don't really "tweet," which probably puts me out of the running for keynote speaker anyway. Good bloggers use Twitter and say things like "maximizing my social media presence" with a straight face. But since I did sign up for an account, once upon a time, I still get random emails telling me that "LakishaMonono is now following you on Twitter!" Always with an exclamation point! Yay!
In other news....Donny continues his tour of the great United States of America. He is finishing his week in Seattle by sitting in the airport all day, because his flight to New York was canceled due to some wind issues in NY. We are starting to forget what he looks like. I am starting to forget what it's like to have adult conversation. But, as Ariella so optimistically put it, "Yaakov, Daddy is coming home soon! Not today, not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, not the day after that, but the day after THAT!" Soooooo soon.
Yaakov continues to learn about Megillat Pesach. Ariella continues to try and patiently explain that there is no Megillat Pesach; it's called the Haggadah. Yaakov refuses to believe this. Today's halachic tidbit from Yaakov:
"Mommy when we wash our hands on Pesach we do NOT say a bracha. Because because because Hashem, is in the sky. And He knows."
So be careful out there, kids. Hashem is in the sky. And He knows.
And okay, I don't really "tweet," which probably puts me out of the running for keynote speaker anyway. Good bloggers use Twitter and say things like "maximizing my social media presence" with a straight face. But since I did sign up for an account, once upon a time, I still get random emails telling me that "LakishaMonono is now following you on Twitter!" Always with an exclamation point! Yay!
In other news....Donny continues his tour of the great United States of America. He is finishing his week in Seattle by sitting in the airport all day, because his flight to New York was canceled due to some wind issues in NY. We are starting to forget what he looks like. I am starting to forget what it's like to have adult conversation. But, as Ariella so optimistically put it, "Yaakov, Daddy is coming home soon! Not today, not tomorrow, not the day after tomorrow, not the day after that, but the day after THAT!" Soooooo soon.
Yaakov continues to learn about Megillat Pesach. Ariella continues to try and patiently explain that there is no Megillat Pesach; it's called the Haggadah. Yaakov refuses to believe this. Today's halachic tidbit from Yaakov:
"Mommy when we wash our hands on Pesach we do NOT say a bracha. Because because because Hashem, is in the sky. And He knows."
So be careful out there, kids. Hashem is in the sky. And He knows.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Further Progress
I'm sure you're wondering how we're faring, Pesach-wise. Here are some important updates:
1. Yaakov was walking around the apartment with a bag of cereal. I promptly told him not to.
2. Our cleaning lady - bless her soul and her way with a sponga - tried to put away my Pesach food, which was resting comfortably in the guest room. Naturally, wondering why these seemingly normal people (we do seem normal, right?) were hoarding foodstuffs in their bedroom, she attempted to put the coffee in the pantry (gasp!), the ketchup in the fridge, (double gasp!) and the bags of matza meal on the counter (*faint*). I swept the food up as fast as I could - does the 5 second rule count for Pesach food in the chametz kitchen? - and hurled it back to its staging area. Crisis averted. (Just don't tell any rabbis about this. Especially not my newly-minted rabbi brother, coronated just this past Sunday at the Chag HaSemicha.)
3. I called Lisa and told her that next week, I would - deep breath - be ready to "discuss seder."
4. The kiddies are shteiging away, learning about Pesach ("Megillat Pesach" as Yaakov calls it) in school/gan. Ariella comes home daily with a new picture for our wall; Yaakov has not done any projects in gan. Not that there isn't Pesach work being done in gan. It's just not being done by Yaakov. When I walked into gan and saw that every other child had completed a Pesach drawing - except for my son - I asked him, "Just what, exactly, were you doing when all the other children in gan were doing this project?" He cheerfully replied, "I was doing shtuyot and hitting people." Sigh.
5. Um....that's it. Not bad, right?
1. Yaakov was walking around the apartment with a bag of cereal. I promptly told him not to.
2. Our cleaning lady - bless her soul and her way with a sponga - tried to put away my Pesach food, which was resting comfortably in the guest room. Naturally, wondering why these seemingly normal people (we do seem normal, right?) were hoarding foodstuffs in their bedroom, she attempted to put the coffee in the pantry (gasp!), the ketchup in the fridge, (double gasp!) and the bags of matza meal on the counter (*faint*). I swept the food up as fast as I could - does the 5 second rule count for Pesach food in the chametz kitchen? - and hurled it back to its staging area. Crisis averted. (Just don't tell any rabbis about this. Especially not my newly-minted rabbi brother, coronated just this past Sunday at the Chag HaSemicha.)
3. I called Lisa and told her that next week, I would - deep breath - be ready to "discuss seder."
4. The kiddies are shteiging away, learning about Pesach ("Megillat Pesach" as Yaakov calls it) in school/gan. Ariella comes home daily with a new picture for our wall; Yaakov has not done any projects in gan. Not that there isn't Pesach work being done in gan. It's just not being done by Yaakov. When I walked into gan and saw that every other child had completed a Pesach drawing - except for my son - I asked him, "Just what, exactly, were you doing when all the other children in gan were doing this project?" He cheerfully replied, "I was doing shtuyot and hitting people." Sigh.
5. Um....that's it. Not bad, right?
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