So there I was, toothpick-cleaning my folding chairs, just as surely as Tzipporah, wife of Moshe, did, lo, these many years ago. This, I realize, is the real reason the Jews did not have time to properly let their dough rise - they were too busy cleaning their cabinets, high chairs, couches, and, of course, toothpicking their chairs.
"Time to leave!" announces Moshe.
"But Moshe," complain the People, "I have to let this cleaning solution sit for 2-3 minutes on the stovetop before I can properly scrub it!"
"Oh," says Moshe, "you're right, we can't leave yet. Just as long as we get out of here before the dough rises, 'k?"
"Dough? Rising? Who has gotten around to cooking yet? We haven't even touched the pantry!"
Anyway, when discussing with LISA the irony of how a holiday which is based primarily on speed now takes us endless hours to prepare for, we came up with a brilliant idea.
Are you ready?
The Eighteen Minute Clean!
Clean whatever you can in 18 minutes or less! Make sure not to go over by even a minute! Good idea, right? Let me guess - you're already implementing it in your house, right now. Good for you, I say!
Well, as for me, I guess I should get back to the kitchen now. Or, rather, the Shrine to Paper Towels. Only 14 minutes left!