I'm sure you're wondering how we're faring, Pesach-wise. Here are some important updates:
1. Yaakov was walking around the apartment with a bag of cereal. I promptly told him not to.
2. Our cleaning lady - bless her soul and her way with a sponga - tried to put away my Pesach food, which was resting comfortably in the guest room. Naturally, wondering why these seemingly normal people (we do seem normal, right?) were hoarding foodstuffs in their bedroom, she attempted to put the coffee in the pantry (gasp!), the ketchup in the fridge, (double gasp!) and the bags of matza meal on the counter (*faint*). I swept the food up as fast as I could - does the 5 second rule count for Pesach food in the chametz kitchen? - and hurled it back to its staging area. Crisis averted. (Just don't tell any rabbis about this. Especially not my newly-minted rabbi brother, coronated just this past Sunday at the Chag HaSemicha.)
3. I called Lisa and told her that next week, I would - deep breath - be ready to "discuss seder."
4. The kiddies are shteiging away, learning about Pesach ("Megillat Pesach" as Yaakov calls it) in school/gan. Ariella comes home daily with a new picture for our wall; Yaakov has not done any projects in gan. Not that there isn't Pesach work being done in gan. It's just not being done by Yaakov. When I walked into gan and saw that every other child had completed a Pesach drawing - except for my son - I asked him, "Just what, exactly, were you doing when all the other children in gan were doing this project?" He cheerfully replied, "I was doing shtuyot and hitting people." Sigh.
5. Um....that's it. Not bad, right?