Welcome to Tzippy "Tzips" Leichter, one of the famous Boxford Road Beauties of the early '80s. (I'm another one. Just so you know.) Tzippy is Loyal Reader #33, and we are happy to have her with us. And SaraK, your comments on old posts are much appreciated, if only by me, because I don't think even the Loyalest of Readers - and here I include Momz "Gottacomment Gottacomment" Leibtag, and Sharon "Top Ten List" Sturm - go back and reread old comments pages.
Yesterday, something good and something bad happened to be at Shufersal. I will start with the bad: I cut myself on toilet paper. Now, for those of you who have not been in Israel in a while, let me assure you that it's not what you're thinking. The toilet paper here has definitely improved over the years; it's no longer made from sanded down Jerusalem stone, and I think it's pretty comparable to stuff you can get in America. However, the toilet paper here comes in VERY LARGE packages, with a vicious, dangerous handle. (The smallest package you can buy has 16 rolls. And most of the time you see people walking around in the store with the massive, 48-roll packages, with little room in the cart for anything else. In fact, their 4 small children who are, of course, riding in the back, are smushed betwen the GINORMOUS toilet paper and the cart. The poor kids can't even move their arms, but don't worry - they know how to suck down their Shoko bags using only their mouths.)
Did I have a point here? Probably not, but in any case, I cut my finger on the handle. It was during the feverish Bagging and Carting Race. (I like to race the kupait to see if I can keep my bagging even with her scanning. I have yet to win.)
But there is a good thing that has happened to me as well. No, not just a good thing. A WONDERFUL thing. A thing that I have been waiting for my whole life. No, they are not coming out with a remake of "Shirah, Princess of Power," starring Jennifer Garner (because that way, Donny will come see it with me). And no, I did not acquire a wife. I'm still waiting for that one. I found, folks, in Shufersal.....katzefet shel milky!!!! A "Milky," for those of you who have sadly never experienced it, is this chocolate pudding delight with whipped cream - katzefet - on top. So "katzefet shel milky" is a container with....just the whipped cream! Heaven! If there were a tree of these in Gan Eden, I wouldn't stand a chance. I'd be fighting off the snake, and Adam, and Eve, to get to them first. They are packaged with little containers of syrup and candies, to mix in, but I am a whipped cream purist. Straight from the container. Soooo much neater than spraying the bottle into my mouth.
I am also happy to report that I am not the only ones enjoying the magazines from America. The kids, too, have started to read them. Entertainment Weekly, Parenting, Good Housekeeping - they're not particular. They take a stack of them to bed at night. Yaakov particularly likes the Parenting magazines, especially the "Desitin" ad because it shows a tushy, and the ad for his beloved Thomas toothpaste. Ariella flips through EW like it's "Brown Bear Brown Bear." I'm glad that in addition to Aryan looks and an affinity for puzzles, I have passed along the "magazine" trait. (The truth is, Donny has a hidden magazine trait as well. He enjoys People almost as much as I do. He's just too busy reading his chick-lit to have time for the magazines.)
Speaking of Ariella -which we were just doing, keep up - I have been having a hard time explaining movies to her. She's always asking if a movie "really happened," but she gets "really happened" confused with "a movie with actors." So, for example, any of the Pixar movies - may they live long and prosper - are easy. Not real people, didn't really happen. Other movies, like Elmo or this really annoying "Country Songs" DVD we have, are more confusing. There are real people in it; ergo, this really happened.
Ariella [while watching a new Israeli song-and-dance DVD, courtesy of SabaSara, who have NOT joined as Loyal Readers, which is completely unacceptable, I mean, even Dadz "OHMIGOD The Phone is Ringing! Help!" Leibtag has joined! And don't think you can get away with this by joining as one person. Just because I refer to you as SabaSara - I want two new Loyal Readers out of this.]: Mommy, did this really happen?
Me: No, this didn't actually happen.
Ariella: But those are real people. If it didn't happen how could they be real?
Me: Yes, they are real people. They're just playing pretend. You know like when you and Yaakov play house? [Digression: Whenever they play house, Ariella is of course the Mommy. One night, I heard Yaakov calling around the house, "Mommy! Mommy!" I looked at him. "Which Mommy do you want?" He gave me an annoyed look. "The guh-uhl." [That's "girl" when you can't say your "r's."]
Me [continued]: When you play house, you're not actually the Mommy, right? You're still Ariella, you're just pretending to be Mommy.
[Ariella considers this.]
Me: But that doesn't mean you're not a real person, right? You're just playing make believe. It's the same with the people in movies.
Ariella: So they're not real?
Me: No, the people are real, live people that you could actually meet. But what they're doing is pretend. Like that time we saw a play, and the man was pretending to be a tree. He is not actually a tree, in real life. He was pretending.
[Repeat entire conversation 2-3 times a week.]
Nine Days Update:
We are now running out of room for our dirty clothes. The house is one big POL. (Pile of Laundry.) I've now started to rummage through the hamper to find the least dirty shorts in which to clothe Yaakov. If you see a little boy running through the streets of Modi'in in a princess costume, please understand. Next week he'll be back in regular clothes. Although he may insist on wearing those heels.
The T-Shirt Paradox
1 week ago