Thursday, July 2, 2009

Toilet Training: The Battle Begins

I would like to begin by giving a shout-out to Loyal Reader #28 "Zehava Leezy's Friend" - thanks for joining! - as well as to Lanie "Good Times" Carter. Make sure to join the Loyal Readers' Club so you can receive your free aliyahbyaccident pen! Since Lanie was wondering, just today, if she had traumatized her son for life by not giving him advanced warning before his shots, I thought this would be an appropriate blog post in which to welcome her. I am constantly traumatizing my children, to the extent that they think it's just normal life.

We (and here I mean "I," although Donny did come home early when things were getting hectic, pee-pee -wise) started Potty Training Boot Camp today. Yaakov, as many of you may recall, turned three way back when in April. And yet, despite continued reassurances from well-meaning people that he'll "let me know when he's ready," he has shown absolutely no inclination to leave behind the ease and security of diapers for the World of Undies (entrance fee: a clean floor.) So, seeing as he has to start nursery school in September and under no circumstances can he still be in diapers, we waited as long as we could for him to "tell us he's ready," and then, when he did no such thing, enrolled him in Boot Camp. I am the dictator - I mean director. The cost is my sanity.

To make a long, wet, and dirty story short, let's just say by the end of the day, in the battle of Floor Vs. Toilet, Floor was most definitely winning (or losing, as the case may be.) Yaakov treated himself to many more Oreos than his actual successes should have allowed for, but I was too exhausted - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and any other way one can be exhausted - to argue. I also yelled a lot, which is most definitely a big no-no. (See? Don't you already feel like better parents in comparison? It's a service I provide, free of charge.)

Some Bright Sides:
1. We managed to bring Ariella to and from kaytanah without peeing in the car.
2. When Donny decided we should just put him back in diapers, Yaakov begged to be allowed back in undies. This was a first. In the past, he happily scampered back to his Pampers. (We actually use Huggies, but I did like the little rhyming sequence.)
3. After I had retreated to my room, hiding from all things pee-related, Donny relayed to me that Yaakov did actually articulate, in words, "I need to make, Daddy." This was another first.

So we are giving a (hesitant) kappayim l'Yaakov. Tomorrow, the plan is to go to the mall with Daddy to buy tzitzit and kippah. However, I think he's going to need to prove his toilet-worthiness a little more. (Yaakov, that is.) Tonight, in preparation, I am washing all of the undies and towels that were sacrificed for the cause. I should probably buy some more Oreos, too.


Shoshi said...

I, too, am the dictator of Rebecca's toilet training boot camp!! Where are the instruction manuals for this part of parenting?

Zehava said...

My mother said that teaching your children to drive is 10x worse than toilet training them. Good luck. :)


Gils, you have done a huge favor to all mothers everywhere who are in TT mode - because you know, you gotta laugh (after you cry and scream).

Sharon said...

Ten months ago you would have made a big deal about going to a mall to but tzizit and kippah. I think that you have lost your olah chadashah status. Mazel Tov!