New Toys

Welcome to Saba, of the famous "SabaSarah," Loyal Reader #34! Glad you joined! For that, I will not make fun of you once this entire post.

First, let's take a moment to respond to our loyal commentors.

Ephraim and Dadz - Ephraim, I thank you for your serious and thoughtful insights regarding my smelly socks. (Although it was so serious and thoughtful, I thought for a moment it wasn't you. I kept rereading it, looking for the jokes or Star Wars references.) In the past, I have indeed done the kids' laundry, since they wouldn't have enough to get through the week. But this year, I thought, hey, what's the adventure in THAT??? Let's go dirty all the way!!! Let's rummage through hampers, looking for the shorts without spaghetti stains or dried cereal clinging to them![Sigh. I need to get out more.]

Baila - re the "Carting and Bagging Race" - I actually have a secret helper: Ariella. When she's with me, she does the belting of the groceries, leaving me free to do the bagging, so we have a
decent chance. The problem is she's still short, so when it gets to the bottom of the cart, she's practically falling in, her legs flailing as she reaches for the tomatoes and random yogurts that
are rolling around. At that point, I always lose time having to race back to finish the belting. In a year or two, though, that kupait is going DOWN!!!

Zehava - I thank you for the correct spelling of "She-Ra." And Laurie, yes, Jennifer Garner, all the way.

Now, some of you may have noticed the "SiteMeter" I added to the bottom of the blog. Thanks to Lisa, who told me about it. This has become my new favorite toy. Not only does it count the visits, but I can also see from where in the world people are logging onto the blog, as well as how they got there. So another big shout-out to Baila, and to Lisa, because it seems many readers have come aboard through your blogs. But this blog has become worldwide entertainment,
folks! And unless it's just Momz, hopping over to IP addresses the world over and visiting the site so I'll feel popular, aliyahbyaccident has gone INTERNATIONAL! We're going to have
ambassadors and everything. There's even a reader from Hungary! And I don't even sprecken
Hungarian!

But the funniest thing, readers, is to see what Google searches brought readers to my page. For example, my Hungarian friend - we'll call him "Nyet" - googled "shufersal." Now, first,
you are wondering - Why didn't he BING it??? If you are, you may be the only one. Second, "Huh?" Shufersal? (Si, si, my friends.) Other google searches have included "bais yaakov pee" and "hokey pokey ivrit." It is very, very heartwarming to know that if you google "bais yaakov pee," aliyahbyaccident is the VERY FIRST site! It is a proud moment for us here at aliyahbyaccident. Do you think they want to write an article about this for the next issue of ByLine?? ("Aliyahbyaccident: First in Bais Yaakov, First in Pee.")

Now, as many of you know, yesterday was the Fast of the Ninth of Av. At this point in my life, fast days have gone from "meaningful" to a twisted Jewish version of "Survivor," with more clothing. And I did - survive, that is - though only barely. The millions of new toys/activities I
bought for the kids - videos, play-dough, crayons, coloring books, stickers, pipe cleaners - kept them entertained. Until about 12:00. Then, it was 8 hours of alternately playing icely/fighting/crying/eating puddings. (Repeat.) I have to give a big kappayim to DONNY, my Tisha B'Av Hero. From 12:00 on, when the onset of my migraine coincided with the kids looking at me with those beseeching "We're bored" looks, he really took over, playing with them, preparing dinner (which I had started to do, until the little spots in front of my eyes spelled out "GO LIE DOWN,") doing dishes, etc etc. All things considered, the kiddies did behave pretty decently. By 5:00, though, the living room looked like some of kind of Toys 'R Us tornado had blown through. Finally, it was time for Donny to go to mincha, me to puke, and the fast to end.

Had I been Esther, by the way, Jewish history would have been rewritten. "I am going to see the king in three days," I would have proclaimed, "So for the next three days, I will not eat candy yogurt! And I beseech you, my fellow Jews and handmaidens, - you, too, pray for me and do not eat candy yogurt!" And from then on, Jews, on the day before Purim, would
refrain from eating candy yogurt. Except for the old and infirm, of course.

Well, I should probably clean up the tornado now. THANK GOD Ariella has kaytanah today! They're making up the day off yesterday with camp today. Poor kid. She kept wailing, "I want to go oooouuuuutttt!!!!" I tried explaining, "But everything is closed today." "I want to go out anywaaaaaaay!" In the end, a few minutes of cuddling with Mommy (and Bunny) helped, and then she decided to clean a bathroom. A girl after my own heart.

By the way, if you can't get in touch with me later, it's because I'm out with Lisa, sitting in a tub of katzefet (Lisa - bring spoons.)