Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I Promise, I'm Almost Done Talking About Pee (Almost)

And now a full welcome to our fully identified LR 31 - Shoshana "I'm Talia's Friend and I Spent Shabbos At Your House, Once" Kreymer. Welcome, Shoshana! And thanks for your readership. Watch your mail for that tote bag!

Well, people, it happened - I blinked, and kaytanah ended. Don't worry, Kaytanah #2 starts on Sunday. Wish us luck!

In response to Israel's comment: So far, Yaakov has been managing to get most of it in the toilet. He likes to stand, like a big boy. For those of you who don't know, Israel's son, Ilan, was in the "We Are Almost Three, If You Please, and We Couldn't Care Less About The Toilet" Club. Yaakov was president; Ilan was secretary and treasurer (because his handwriting is so much neater.) However, one day, Yaakov showed up to the weekly meeting - in diapers, of course - and Ilan wasn't there! He left a note (again, the handwriting) saying, "Sorry, my young friend. I am a 'bo-gare.' [Hebrew for "big boy."] I no longer use diapers; I am King of the Bathroom." Just like that, he left the club! Now, Yaakov, of course, couldn't care less. (Hence the name of the club.) Every time we saw Ilan, I tried to impress on Yaakov how cool Ilan's underwear was, and what a big boy Ilan is now. Yaakov would just stare at me and continue zooming cars up my legs. (My legs are often recruited to play the part of the elevator.) I had wondered if Yaakov would still be president of the club at his bar mitzvah. However, now Yaakov is also King of the Bathroom, and the residents of Modi'in were happy and joyful.

Today, I was a lady who lunched. Or, at least, a lady who coffeed. My friend Rena, who also taught at SAR and made aliyah last summer, lives in Buchman, which is in Modi'in, but might as well be in Petra for all I've seen her. She mentioned on Facebook - gotta love that Facebook - that she was leaving on Sunday to go to America for 3 weeks. Then, we had a crazy thought. Why don't we try to meet for coffee????? Now, this did mean I had to get off the couch and out of my pajamas. (I am LOVING this working from home thing.) But it was worth it. We met and got drinks; unfortunately, the restaurant's ice machine was broken (?????), but we managed anyway. The only downside to our get-together was that the restaurant is in Modi'in Center, which has the most poorly designed parking lot ever. Compounding the problem, there is a sign somewhere which advertises, "If You Can't Drive, and Especially, If You Can't Park, Come to Modi'in Center! We Are the Place For YOU!" People actually park in the little narrow strip between the sidewalk and the parking spaces. You know, the strip of road meant for actual driving of vehicles. The best part is how when drivers park their car there, sometimes halfway on the sidewalk, their car tilting dangerously toward the road, people trying to squeeze by give the drivers dirty looks, or honk, or yell, or do all three. (Kind of like "If You're Pissed And You Know It.") And then, the person sitting in the car, which is blocking traffic and making everyone grumpy(er), gives all those people a dirty look right back! As if we had the nerve, the absolute gall, to try to drive on HIS parking spot!

One day, Donny and I were there, and a truck was unloading supplies, effectively blocking us in. The truck drivers were all there, but they just ignored us and kept on unloading. After all, we had parked in their unmarked unloading zone to begin with. Luckily, some very enterprising and enthusiastic Israelis helped us maneuver our car out of the spot, without causing any damage to our car (yay!), or to the truck (oh well). Helping someone ease out of a spot is actually considered high entertainment in this country. It's nice to know that for every #**&&3$%#$ (ask Ariella to explain) who blocks you in, there are at least two adrenaline-fueld mensches that help you get out.


Israel W. said...

Very funny!

It's the way to let us know that they are in command. They decide when they are ready and trained, not us.

I have noticed that Israelis have a 6th sense as far as public parking. I have heard that there is a class they all have to take in College called Parking Engineering. Have you ever noticed that they know exactly where they can park illegaly without affecting too much the rest of us? Haven't you see those outdoor parking lots where there is no single marked line and somehow like bees in a hive the cars are parked perfectly maximizing the amount of cars you can get in a minimum amount of space?

Baila said...

Hi Gila,

I caught up on your blog a little while ago (yup, read every single post) and have been lurking ever since. I think you are pretty funny and decided to link you to my blog, and to give you an award (this means you have really arrived in the blogosphere). You can cut and paste the picture and put it on your blog to show everyone what a high-quality blog you have! :-)

In the meantime, you can drop off my tote anytime. I live only blocks away.

Can't wait to

SaraK said...

I've been lurking too, but just became an official reader :) You crack me up. Shabbat Shalom!