That's it. I've had it. I could put up with the intense heat in the summer, because, as Morah T will tell you, "It's Israel. It's the summer. Get used to it." (Although she would probably tell you in a nicer way.) But this heat wave in October has finished me. We're not talking about your Indian summer, where it reaches a pleasant 70s or even low 80s during the fall. Oh no. This is all-out, knock-down, drag-out, heat war. There are many words for "heat wave" in Hebrew - it's sort of like our Eskimo "snow" - and I'm not even sure what the difference is between a chamsin and a sharav and plain old heat wave. But it is undeniably, and unbearably, HOT!!!!!
On Shabbat, the kids and I walked to a different shul for a friend's baby naming. (Donny had to layn at our regular shul.) Even though the shul is about two blocks away, we were red-faced and sweating by the time we got there. And there was no air outside. None. It was like walking through a warm bath, but not in a pleasant, isn't-this-relaxing sort of way. In a I'm-drenched-and-I-can't-breathe sort of way. Today, there is a sort of breeze, but it doesn't help much. It just feels like 100 strangers breathing heavily into your face. Ewwww. I hear it's a balmy 45 degrees in Baltimore. And rainy. Sounds good right about now. Can you send some over here? First, as we all know, the Kinneret needs water because Yaakov keeps brushing his teeth. (Although his plan of filling up his washing cup with water and dumping it into the Kinneret is not without merit.) But also, we need winter! Enough of this already! There are important things to consider, such as Ariella's deep desire to wear her long-sleeve school shirts!
Okay, fine, maybe my solution is a bit drastic. Also, I'm afraid the five dozen shoko b'sakits I would have to pack with me to tide me over during my exile would burst during the trip and make my suitcase smell bad. So I'll just stay inside. In a t-shirt. With the a/c on full blast. Leaving only to make mad dashes to pick up the children, and then run back inside. If you see me on the street and I don't say hi, it's not personal - it's because it's too hot to pick up my arm or move my mouth.
Speaking of things we love about Israel, everyone's got their own thing which makes them feel warm and fuzzy about our homeland. For some, it's seeing the myriad sukkot all over the country. For others, it's the ability to find a minyan in every building and form of public transportation. Still others enjoy the "chag sameach" on the soda bottles. For me, though, what makes me warm and fuzzy inside is the ability to buy undies in Supersol. Not sure why, and the truth is, I haven't actually done it yet. But I love going shopping knowing that if need be, I can head over to aisle six and outfit my kids for the entire season. [Contented sigh.]
Speaking of shopping, I had an excellent Random Bag at Supersol today: dryer sheets, garlic, cottage cheese, and toothpaste.
Speaking of speaking of things we're speaking of, Donny has left us this week to return to the Land of the Free and the Home of Target. He left Saturday night and is returning next Monday. Ariella was very saddened by his departure and as a result, I have been conned into doing all sorts of fun and expensive things this week. BUt yuo should also now that my blogging mihgt have a a few errors. YOu see, I usaully read it over to donny befroe I post, and then catch all the misspellings adn grammatical erros. But he not hree to lstien to me read. So if hrete ar mroe misstakes tha ussual, plesae udnersantd. (Ohmigod did anyone else just get a flashback to "Flowers for Algernon?" Or was it just me?)
Also, though our Minister of Polls has been decidedly absent these past few months - apparently he's been "working" so he can "make money" so we can "afford to live." Whatever - I have a question that's been on my mind: Pomegranate seeds. Eat 'em or spit 'em? Leave your answer below.
The T-Shirt Paradox
1 week ago