Thursday, October 8, 2009

Momz Gets to Write a Guest Blog

Well, folks, the 'rents are here for a week - and you know what that means. Hogging my computer. And you know what that means - no time to write blogs. My favorite line tonight was when Momz - who was sitting at my computer, which had only been recently vacated by Dadz, who had been sitting at my computer for quite some time, squinting at the screen and wondering where his "Favorites" went - said to me, "So, Gils, did you blog tonight?" Hello???? When? Did I slip in, like the wind, invisible, between the time that Dadz got up and Momz sat down, quickly churn out a witty, amusing blog, then slip away again, unnoticed? The truth is, I could, in theory, have blogged using my new cool IPOD! (thanks Momz and Dadz! Just tell Donny it's a "Micropod!"), but I'm not so good with the typing yet so it. would. have. taken. a. very. long. time. to. type. it.

Anyway, Momz saved the blogging day by offering to write a guest post. Without further ado, I give you,

And now a guest blog from Momz, who is visiting Israel with the famous Dadz for a Week of Fun.

So this is a great country, but for some reason it is very HOT. I don't want to hear about longitudes and latitudes and equators and such. I just want it to stop being so freakin HOT. You see, since it is HOT I prefer to sit at the various parks we've visited while others romp and hike and play frisbee. It's Sukkos for goodness' sake, and in Baltimore it's in the 70s, while in Chicago, home of Rabbi Aaron Leibtag and his Leibtagim, it's been in the 50s all week.

And then, it gets to be like, say, 82 here instead of 150 and people are [get ready] wearing SWEATERS! I am not kidding, and I'm sorry but at the zoo i wnated to go up to the chasidim and ask them to please take off the satin coats not because I necessarily care about their sweat, but they were making me ill to look at them.

I am told that once it reaches "after the chagim" which is a life and mind altering event that occurs on Sunday, the sweaters, tights, and scarves appear and no matter what temperature it is, you gotta dress warm. Lord help me, it is not mormal. Or no one here is a middle aged woman. either way, it's nuts.

OK, I have kvetched enough about how HOT it is. Now on to other things.

So for the first part of chag (whoa, am I Israeli or what, I didn't even say YUNTIF, I think I'm going to get kicked out of Park Heights forever), we stayed at the home of Leezy and Elie Klein of Beit Shemesh, who live in God's neighborhood. Well, it is called Gad, but God is funnier. It was truly lovely, we got to spend time with our "outlaws" (no really, we call each other that very fondly) the elder (but not that old or rickety, for sure) Kleins, the wonderful Eisens (5 men, 1 woman, much laughing), and of course our wonderful Leezy, Elie, and their kiddies Netanel and Amichai.

So the bottom line is that Netanel is totally brilliant and adorable and hysterical and a real tantrum-ish two year old and Amichai is completely edible and looks like Elie and like a meerkat. Not that Elie looks like a meerkat, but well when we went to the Zoo even Elie, father of Amichai, pointed out that there is a freakish resemblance. There was much singing of "adon olam" by Tani, much giggling and cooing, as well as droooling and puking, by Amichai, and giggling by me and Leezy, which is one of the things we do best. Also they have a TV! and CABLE! we watched reruns of "Ellen"!

On Wednesday we mosied over to Modiin to visit with the Roses. Yaakov and Ariella greeted us with hugs and then continued their fight over who breathes better, or who has nicer shoes, or who touched whose daled amos, or something. Ah, yes the memories of my children doing the same thing, with every conversation ending in some reference to a body part or bodily function.

Since Gila and Donny do not have a sukkah (Israelis, please emphasize syllable number 2, Park Heights'ers please emphasize syllable number 1) we HAD to eat out a lot. Look, you do what you have to. On Wednesday we went to a cool park which had the requisite shade, place to sit, and breeze - I guess everyone else did something for 2 hours, I have no idea.

Today we went out to breakfast and then to another cool park. during all of this time my grandchildren were intermittently chasing each other, giggling, and calling each other names and accusing each other of basically causing World World III by touching or looking at each other. The UN has agreed to intervene - someone is gonna get sanctioned. hoo boy.

[serious section, get ready] I must compliment my children on being wonderful hosts and taking good care of us - and putting up with the constant demand for rugelach, croissants, seltzer, ice, naps, shade (cause it's HOT here) and places to sit. I am very proud of how they have acclimated to life here, and how much they enjoy being Israeli. Listening to my grandchildren speaking perfect Hebrew with Israeli raishes is beyond wonderful and brings tremendous nachas (somehow the Park Heights version of that word sounds much more sincere, sorry israelis).

So now we get ready to return to Park Heights, to work, etc. Dadz and I will board the plane on Monday night for that 11.5 hour squeezed into tiny seats watching old movies eating cruddy food trying to sleep but not succeeding going crazy not looking at my watch going crazy going crazy going crazy what do you mean we still have 3 hours to go....

thanks Gils for allowing me to write this is such a huge honor!

love to all of the royal leaders! loyal readers! whatever!


OneTiredEma said...

Chag sameach Momz! Apparently the apple does not fall far from the tree :)

(And as a recent olah, I totally agree on the HOT and holy moly it is supposed to be 31 on Sunday--that is August hot, not September hot, and I am feeling peevish.

Ahava said...

So funny. All-most as funny as Gila- Funny by Accident? We miss you! I don't see you on Sukkot anyway so I'm not sure why I would say that...but still.

Risa said...

Momz, I had to comment on your guest blog. First of all, you did a fine description of your chag so far. My major concern is where Dadz is able to eat his rugelach without a sukkah. (I guess that you could pack them and eat them while you're out if you find a sukkah, but given the weather you described, the hot sun and chocolate rugelach just don't mix.)Enjoy the rest of your chag and have a safe trip back!

Baila said...

Well, MOMZ, totally worth taking over Gil's computer for that post. I think the natives start wearing their Fall wardrobes even if its still hot out there for two reasons: a-if they didnt they'd have to wear the same outfits all year, there wouldn't be "sof onah" sales and well, that wouldn't be very fashion forward now, would it?, and b-I think they've learned that they will slowly go insane if they don't pretend there is a change of seasons here.

Come back in December/January and you may need a sweater for 1/2 hour (only indoors, outdoors it's fine).

Baila said...

And you should start your own blog!


I'm so excited, I got comments!

Also, I realized that I made Gila's kids sound like terrorists and I should mention that they are beautiful, sweet, and smart - and I worry that both of them have almost-disintegrated thumbs.

BubbyT said...

Momz,great post. i agree with Ahava...time to start your own blog...I'll tell you the comment I got when I complained about the July heat "Don't complain, you are in Israel" sound great!! love to all...can't wait to see you back in Baltimore (not Pk hts though) we miss you guys!!