Things that you will always find at the Rose household:
Note: These are not pleasant things, like, "fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies" or "a warm smile." But they are the truth. Messy, but true.
1. A sinkful of dishes. And I do dishes. Often. And yet more somehow appear in the sink, against my will. I think it's kind of like a Toy Story-turned-horror-movie-for-grownups: When I'm not looking, the dishes come alive and stealthily scuttle into the sink, then sit there looking all innoccent when I walk by. Sometimes I could swear I hear snickering.
2. A grocery bag of non-perishables sitting on the kitchen floor. Like Baila, I absolutely abhor all aspects of food shopping, ESPECIALLY the putting away part. So often I lose steam - the ice cream (Ben & Jerry's; don't let the kids see), milk and any other perishables get first priority, then fruits and vegetables...but by the time I'm up to the can of corn, toilet cleaner, and oil, I've had it. Let 'em stay on the floor, I think contemptuously. Eventually, Shabbos comes, and everything gets put away.
3. Speaking of Shabbos, one will also find sundry items that get put away during the pre-Shabbos clean up, only to reappear mere hours later. To wit: The glass measuring cup we use for hot water and the instant shoko. (We've given up on even trying to put away our hot plate. It has earned itself a permanent spot on the counter. It, too, snickers at me.)
4. Empty bottles of water that certain adult members of this household (we will withhold names to protect Donny's privacy) cannot be bothered to place in the bottle garbage can, which, granted, is ALL the way out on the mirpeset. It's gotta be at least ten steps from the table.
5. Packages of tissues. We are overrun with tissues, because at any given moment, at least one of us is suffering from cold/allergies/inability to blow our noses correctly and therefore needs to use large amounts in tissues in a short period of time. (Okay, that last one only applies to one person). If the tissues could talk (and move) they would stage a mutiny and crumple us up and leave us stuffed in the sofa.
6. Glasses/cups on the table. Always. At least double the number of cups as there are people in the family. I have no idea why.
7. Old People Magazines/Entertainment Weekly, sent to us by DADZ. (I'm about 4 months behind in my celebrity gossip - will Jon and Kate patch things up, or is this the end of their marriage??? Did you know Michael Jackson DIED?????)
There are more, of course, but I think I've embarrassed us enough for one night.
Take my kidney, please (III)
1 day ago