Monday, February 28, 2011

A Top Ten List!

When thinking about blog topics, I came across some list somebody posted. I thought, hey, everyone loves a list! A top-ten list! What fun! Unfortunately, I lost my invitation to the Oscars (again! How annoying!), so I can't present you with a top-ten best/worst dressed list.

Instead, I give you:

Top Ten Thoughts That Flew Into My Head As I Was Writing This!

1. Here is what aliyahbyaccident looks like if you forgot to press alt+shift after typing in Hebrew:

2. Why is it that I never forget to wash but I always forget to bentch?

3. I am seriously considering throwing the children big old invite-the-40-million-kids-in-your-class birthday parties. We keep pushing them off. But we may have to just do it. In fact, Yaakov didn't ask, "Can I have a birthday party?" It was, "For my birthday party, should we invite the whole gan or just the boys?" Don't worry, I'll probably outsource the fun to someone who can conjugate verbs without a cheat sheet. Expensive, yes; less traumatic for my children (and for me), definitely.

4. I am sooooo happy that Ariella always missed "pajama day" in gan - for some reason, they never did it during her gan years. Why am I happy? Because to make up for this injustice, she has decided to do "pajama girl" for Purim this year. And we already have the costume! 'Cuz it's pajamas, get it? The only thing I purchased was a 20 shekel pair of slippers. To quote Chandler, "Could this be any easier?" And although Yaakov had his heart set on Spider/Bat/Superman, when those costumes were nearly 200 shekel, he was perfectly happy with the "neenja" costume for only 80.

5. Having been a customer at 2 banks, I am qualified to ask this question: Why do you all have TWO comfy seats behind the glass, when you only ever have ONE person working there???

6. I will never understand bread. Who figured out, "Hey, let's take this disgusting-tasting stalk, grind it up, mix it up with water and a living organism called yeast, let it rise, bake it, and see what happens? Whaddya say?" But I am thankful for him, whoever he is. Also for his friend, who figured out that if he milks a cow, shakes it (the milk, not the cow) around real fast, and spreads the resulting concoction on bread (preferably warm), it will taste really, really good.

7. No matter what clothing size my children are, that's the size they're out of during sale season.

8. All too often I stride purposefully in a certain direction, only to stop suddenly in the middle of a room and gaze around cluelessly, with absolutely no idea what I was planning to do. Sometimes there's a spatula in my hand. At that point it's easiest to just sit down and read a magazine.

9. On a related note, while I was washing dishes I had two thoughts to share on this list. By the time I got to the computer, I forgot both of them. I can assure you, though, that they were hilarious.

10. Shoot. It's really bugging me that I can't remember those two thoughts. Bugging me in that vague way things bother you when you have an idea and forget them two seconds later. Like, I feel the thought rolling around in the back of my head, and my fingers just aren't long enough to reach in there and grab them. Or some less icky analogy. Arggghhh. I promise to post an addendum if I ever think of them.


Isreview said...

I watched the Oscars (most of it anyway, at some point it got so boring even for an insomniac like me)
I enjoyed your top ten WAY more than anything on the red carpet show or the Oscars itself.
Really don't be upset that your invitation got lost :)

OneTiredEma said...

2. Yes.
8. Yes.

3. TURNCOAT IF YOU MAKE ME DO THAT I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU. Until I need you to babysit for half an hour. BUT STILL.