Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Oh God

[On the drive back from Bet Shemesh.]

Some musings on the nature of the Almighty, from the always inquisitive mind of Ariella:

1. So when Hashem made Adam and Chava, She (Ariella, the post-feminist, always refers to God in the feminine) decided how people would look, right? Like they would have two arms and legs and a mouth and nose and eyes. And then when Adam and Chava had children, they all looked that way. [Pause.]

2. If Hashem messed up, She could just crumple it up and start again. [Pause.] I think maybe Hashem drew everything out on paper and then made the people.

3. Where is Hashem? Is Hashem air? [Well, in some ways you could compare Hashem to air, because Hashem is all over the place, just like air.]

4. [CLAP!] There, I just killed air, does that mean I just killed Hashem?

[Screech! Me, swerving the car, to avoid the gigantic lightning bolt heading straight toward us.] Well, you can't kill air just by clapping it in your hands. Air is always there, it changes, but you can't destroy it. The same way Hashem is always around, no matter what.

5. Well how can Hashem see everyone all at once? [That is just one of those special things about Hashem. Hashem (notice the studious avoidance of pronouns on my part) can be everywhere, all the time.]

6. Is Hashem a cloud? [Hashem is like nothing in the world. Hashem created all the things in the world, so Hashem cannot be any of those things. It's hard to understand. Mommy doesn't understand it, Daddy doesn't understand it. Maybe Yaakov gets it.]

7. But people made things like roads and streets, right? [Yes, Hashem made people smart enough to make all these things we need.]

8. Will I have time to do fuse beads when we get home?



Fuse beads are the answer to so many of life's questions.

SaraK said...

Oh, wow. Do I have to come up with all these answers before I have kids?

kathleen said...

I'm glad you avoided the gigantic lightening bolt! At least you were able to answer her questions :)

OneTiredEma said...

omg I am sending my kids to you for this conversation. Enjoy.

mother in israel said...

My daughter just asks what proctologia is. I think she liked the sound of the word.

Gila Rose said...

Ariella and I will be publishing a book called "God - Is She a Cloud, or What?" Special discounts for all aliyahbyaccident Loyal Readers.