Sunday, January 24, 2010

Sponga Bottoms

First, I thought I would share an excellent Random Bag experience today. At Rami Levi (where I met LISA and we shmoozed in the fruit aisle while simultaneously holding up shopper traffic), I was bagging my stuff, as usual, and the kupait was sitting there, watching me, as usual. (PS what happened to the baggers they had at RL? Haven't seen them in a while. Miss them I do.) So the last bag, the result of my frantic bagging efforts, had the usual eclectic assortment of goodies: Tu B'shvat fruits, garlic, pears. And a sponga bottom. And then I thought - to quote the inimitable (but whom I've made it my life's work to nimitate) Dave Barry - "Sponga Bottoms would be a great name for a rock band."

So Yaakov returned to gan today, baruch Hashem. It turns out he wasn't quite cured on Thursday, so spent another day at home on Friday. Shabbos he was feeling better and today he (read: I) was rearing to get back to gan. Actually, Yaakov would have liked nothing more than to stay in pjs at home, so getting him dressed in the morning required a feat worthy of She-Ra, Princess of Power. He was not happy to go to gan, but when we got there, the teacher told him that there were treats leftover from the birthday parties on Friday. Turns out everybody had the "shilshul" and a whopping 10 kids were out! Now, in a class of approximately 517, maybe that's a drop in the bucket, but still. He was mollified by the treats, thankfully, and forgot all about me as I said goodbye and slipped out the door.

This afternoon, Yaakov had an "activity" at tzaharon, to which parents were cordially invited (i.e. forced) to attend. The activity started at 3:30, even though tzaharon ends at 4:30. I was feeling very snippy about having to attend an activity during working hours, especially because Sunday is my Crazy Day. In addition to the dreaded Food Shopping, I tutor in Shoham, about 15 minutes away, and finish at 3:30, then rush out to get Ariella and pick up Yaakov. In order to attend this "activity" (note: the continued use of quotation marks is because I'm still feeling snippy) the following arrangements had to be made:

1. Rearrange my tutoring. I told the mom I would leave 30 minutes early, at 3:00, and add on the missing time to other days.

2. Ariella. I couldn't find a playdate for her, so another mom and I decided we'd bring the girls (who have brothers in the gan) and let them play at the park outside gan during this "activity." This involved the following:

2a. Ariella's pick-up. In order to avoid the 10-minute affair that is picking up Ariella (park, go in, drag her away from her coloring/homework/friends, have show and tell - "this is my new seat, this is what we did in science, this is a picture I drew," etc., then pack up, forget the sweatshirt, run back for the sweatshirt, get in the car...), I told Ariella I wanted her packed up and waiting for me. She wore her watch, and I wrote her a reminder note that said, "3:15, pack up - tik, sweatshirt. 3:20 Wait outside on the turtle."

2b. Prepare the Stranger Speech. I was more than fine with her playing at the park right outside with her friend, but we had never had the Stranger With Candy and a Car speech, so I prepared a very serious talk to have with her on the way to gan.

So we were ALL PREPARED for this blessed event. Tutoring, check. Ariella, check, check, check. At 2:00, I arrive in Shoham for tutoring. My phone rings. The Caller ID says Gan Almog. Never a good sign. I panic - oh god, is he sitting in a puddle of poop? (Sorry for the indelicate phrasing, but it does have nice alliteration). It's the morah. "What happened? Is he okay?" I bark.

"Yes, hakol b'seder," she replied tiredly. Clealry this was not the first time today she had answered this question. "The activity for today is cancelled. We wanted to let you know." (Imagine having to call 517 parents in the middle of the day, all of whom greet you with, "Ohmy god is my kid okay????")

So all our planning, fwoop, out the window, down the drain, in the toilet. Ariella was devastated that she lost her hour of playing at the park; Yaakov blithely carried on, never having totally understood what was flying in the first place.

The worst part is not that all my Carefully Laid Plans were for nothing. It's that they are going to reschedule this "activity." And then I will have to do all. This. Again.


Melissa said...

I must say I'm exhausted with just reading about your activities.

I admire your energy and tenacity.

kathleen said...

So sorry that the "activity" will be rescheduled :) At least this one could be considered the practice drill for the real thing. Not helping?


Here's an idea - you could have let ariella Wait on the Turtle (another good name for a rock band) and watched her from a nearby hidden location to make sure she was safe, then picked her up. Aren't I helping? Hello? Gila?

OneTiredEma said...

Playing in the park, this was scheduled for yesterday? With the gale force winds?

I agree that caller ID can be a curse as well as a blessing. But thank goodness no puddle of poop. And your shopping is taken care of for the week! Mine is not! Having sleepover shabbat company! GRAR!