Monday, March 28, 2011

Bad Mommy (yet again)

Well, Nadav is crying in his crib. He has a nasty cold. ("Now With Extra Snot!") We tried everything - holding, rocking, bringing him out onto the mirpeset so he can look at traffic (usually a sure-fire calmer-downer, but nay, nay this night, my friends.) So, my motto is, if he's gonna scream no matter what, might as well let him scream in his crib.

Of course, thanks to my trusty news source (Facebook, natch), crying it out is soooo not in vogue anymore. In fact, if we let our children cry themselves to sleep, we are - let me make sure I'm getting this right - teaching them that the world, as represented by their parents, is a cruel, heartless, and uncaring place. And when they finally do fall to sleep after a screaming bout, it's not that they've learned to comfort themselves, oh no, it's that their brain actually shuts down due to the overwhelming pain of abandonment!

Overwhelming pain of abandonment! Wow! This makes all my other parental transgressions seem so minor now! Letting them eat cereal for dinner? Not really paying attention to their highly intricate stories and just making "hmmm" noises every so often? Bribery, threats, general neglect? That's all nothing compared with the overwhelming pain of abandonment! I'm so glad I have something so dramatic and profound to inflict on my poor unsuspecting children. And something else to feel guilty about! Oh, truly this is a joyous day!

...Wait! Where are you going with my Parent of the Year trophy? Get back here now!

8 comments:

Dadz said...

GILS,

MOMZ & I DID IT, AND LOOK HOW YOU TURNED OUT!

(HMMM, ON SECOND THOUGHT MAYBE FACEBOOK HAS A POINT)

Baila said...

Also not in vogue on facebook: drugs. For you, not the kid.

Good luck.

Is he to old already to suction the snot out of his nose with one of those squeezy bulb things. I always found that oddly satisfying.

Bethami said...

you must have the wrong facebook friends commenting.
drugs might help the kid too - i'm thinking more like fenistil than afalpi. should knock him right out. he's sick, he needs his sleep.

good luck, and good for you for putting him in the crib. you owe your arms something too, they do so much for you.

Anonymous said...

UH-OH I am going to be in big trouble with my kids. I did the Weissbluth sleep thing for all of them. I hope your baby feels better soon.
EM

Gila Rose said...

DADZ, thanks for the kind thoughts.

Baila, I never had much luck with those things. It always seemed to be like it caused a great amount of distress and I never really yielded much treasure.

Bethami - tell me more about these drugs....

EM - thanks! I hope so too!

Arica said...

No worries, you're in good company. I am also in the running for worst parent of the year-so happy to hear I am not the only one who hmmmmm's to their kids stories.

faith/emuna said...

huh? hmmming instead of listening to the minute details makes me a bad parent? i am training them for the real world! when are you going to publish your book so we can redefine good enough parenting?

Kathleen said...

Sometimes you just do what you have to do :-) I don't think he'll have any abandonment emotional issues because of it.
I would totally be in the bad Mommy club too! I am also guilty of making those hmmm noises during those intricate stories. I agree with F/E, I think you'd write a great parenting book- one I could relate to!